A Holey Doctor's Visit

Happily stuffing my face with food, I am back in my office after my doctor's visit, with a $5 cup of love (today's love provided by Second Cup). Let me just tell you, what a doctor's appointment!

So I saw my GP. She was awesome as usual ("Have I seen you since I had my hip replaced? Well, that's why I'm waddling like a duck."): she talked to me about what happened last week (without once suggesting that I was pregnant), looked me over, took my blood pressure, listened to my heart beat and breathing ("You're just full of layers like a cake, aren't you?" "I just wanted to be warm..."), and found nothing out of the ordinary. Which is as much as I expected, seeing as despite my starvation, I was feeling quite fine walking in there.

So, she sent me down a level of the building to their lab to get some bloodwork done (which, for those dear one's information, I DIDN'T have to fast for after all *groan*). I took the elevator down which took so long that I might as well have teetered down the stairs in my (spike men's hearts) boots. I found the lab, went in and handed in my requistion form. The nurse there was awesome. She was so bubbly and friendly, cool and confident in her environment.

She sat me down in a chair with the flippy front that half reminded me of the high-chairs that you seat babies in with the tray in front. As she bustled around preparing to take a sample of my blood, she told me to roll up one of my sleeves, and as I did, I had a sudden flashback to the last time I'd given any of my blood, and had been rejected. Remembering that my veins are as hard to find as the fountain of youth, I piped up to warn her.

    "Uh, just so you know, you're going to have a tough time doing this. Like, tough. Good luck."
    "Oh, no problem, we'll just take a good look first."
    "Okay..."

And so she poked (hahaha) and she prodded my arm/elbow with her gloved finger for a while before she made a move.

    "I think this will be a good one."

And she stuck my left arm with the blood-taking-tube and waited. Adjusted. Waited. Adjusted. Waited.

    "I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work."
    "No worries. I told you it was going to be tough."
    "Yeah, but I'm pretty good at this. I do this everyday."
    "Really, it's okay--I know I'm difficult. My brother has all the good blood-giving genes. He just spurts the stuff if you jab him."

And so she removed what she had to remove, dumped it, and started a fresh on my right arm after sticking cotton and a bandage on my left. She stuck my right arm and waited. Adjusted. Waited. Adjusted. Waited.

    "You are the first patient all year that I haven't been able to draw blood from by the second try!"
    "Well, at least you made it to the end of the year without having met me."
    "I'm so sorry. I think I'm going to have to call in the big guns."

She patched my right arm up with a bandage and left to get someone else--presumably her boss. He came in and looked at me and at both my bandaged arms. He inspected the insides of my elbows for any veins she might have missed, but she really WAS good at her job, and there weren't any.

    "Well, we'll have to go in from the back of the hand then."
    "Really?" *feeling a little gross*
    "Yup."

Dammit. Not that I'm afraid of needles or anything (though I can't watch the moment that they stick me), but when it comes to getting things "done" to me, I'd rather stick to what I know. I've never had blood drawn from the back of my hand, so I was a little nervous. I guess I was just looking for a hand to hold by then--it WAS going to be their third try afterall.

So the big boss suited up and changed up some of the apparatus, and before long, I had finally filled my two tubes for testing. Thank goodness. I thanked them both (and apologized to the nurse again for being so difficult) and left to fill my belly with food.

The whole experience wasn't so bad except for the fact that I'm wearing three different cotton-ball/bandages in three different spots on my person. And what's worse--they didn't even give me a lollipop. I had to go buy my own $5 cup of latte love instead. :(

In other news, on the way to dropping off dimps at the airport (I miss her already), we saw a guy in full military get-up, but the kind of get-up that comes with a kilt. Below zero temperatures, and the man was toughing it out in a kilt with long-socks. Kudos! Just thought I'd share. :)