Getting paid at werk (not a typo)

There are some days where I just want to tear my hair out and bang my face against a wall while at work. And then there are other days where it's all right and I smile from time to time.

S; need help

me: it'll cost you

S: what?
S: I can pay you in gold coins
S: how many gold coins does [this] cost?

me: 150

S: I can give you 1.50

me: fine.

Most would think nothing of this conversation. I didn't. But then I came back from lunch.

The king of fragrance

This weekend, Malcolm came from the kitchen to find me in the living room and accused me of stinking up the bathroom and not doing anything about it (turning on the fan, lighting a candle, anything like that). I denied the allegation. He raised his eyebrows at me and we continued to watch the Jays game.

After another trip to the kitchen and back, Malcolm asked me again if I was sure I didn't forget about an odourous bathroom escapade and I again, denied being at fault. He narrowed his eyes at me, the doubt clear on his face.

After one more exit of the living room, I was ready for Malcolm to return and ask me again. He returned, but didn't ask me. This time I raised my eyebrows. He apologized.

"It was my durian drink."