March maddening

So, one of the guys in my office put together a March Madness pool to bet on the winner of the college tournament. Of course there was a majority of male entrants into the pool, looking use their college sports savvy to win the big bucks, but there were also a couple of female players in the mix as well. I would have been one of them had I been in the office that day to place my bet.

Anyway, lo and behold, the winner was one of those women! I went over to congratulate her on her winning the pot and asked her how she did it.

" Honestly, I just guessed. I don't even watch college football."

"It was a basketball tournament."

"Oh, see?!"

Pretty names for the win!
...

Update:

I've got another great quote:

"March Madness? What is that, a sale?"

Spectacular.

Friday conversations

It's a good day to be eavesdropping in the office if you want to react to some shenanigans.

This conversation:

   "I'm a huge FRIENDS fan - I just binge-watched it - and you know the dark-haired one? Oh...what's her name?"
  "..."

YOU ARE NOT A FAN OF FRIENDS IF YOU REFER TO ANYONE AS "THE DARK-HAIRED ONE"!!!!!

It's MONICA! Her name is MONICA!



And then there was this one:

"Pat, if you want to buy a new baking pan, you just go ahead an buy it for yourself. You don't NEED to buy it. It's like me: 'No, husband, I don't NEED these new shoes, but I'm going buy them anyway.'"

*voice from two rows over*: "You BUY those shoes, melody!"

   "It's not about me, we were talking about Pat and a baking pan."

*voice from two rows over*: "Oh, well you BUY that baking pan, Pat!"
...

Yes. TGIF.

Office lingo

I've been back to work for a few weeks now and while I'm pretty much adjusted to it, I'm still a little rusty on my office lingo. For example, the following conversation happened:

Boss: YOA come to 6F oooppss
Me: ?????
Me: are you asking me to come to 6F
Boss: Yes.

If I'd been in full swing, I wouldn't have had to question it. Duh.

SMH

Overheard at the doctor's office this morning:

*giving a postal code*

"...2...Y..."

"'Y' as in 'you'?"

"No. The letter 'Y'."

"Like 'you'?"

"No. Like X Y Z."

"Yes, like 'you'."

"No."

...

She could have used any other word, and she chose "you."

Quote of the moment

I think I might either start a category of "that's what she said" or maybe even a whole separate blog of "shit my co-worker says."

Yesterday's gem was as we stepped outside into the humid Toronto afternoon.

   "Ick, it's so humid.  I feel like I'm always so wet and moist!"

I had no words.  I don't even think I said goodbye when we parted ways. :)

Quote of the moment:

My dad has a short memory and confuses his words easily most of the time...

   "So, you had lunch today with the sweets?"
   "What?  With what?"
   "The sweets."
   "Do you mean [my volleyball team that's named] Sugar?"
   "Yes."

Oh dad.  I wouldn't trade him for the world.

That's what she said

And really, she said it.  Loudly.  At work.

Our director brought donuts in this afternoon.  My gluten-free friend noticed them go by and groaned - donuts were definitely not going to be gluten-free.  I grabbed one and then visited her at her cube.

   "Hey, want a sprinkle?  These might be gluten-free."

   "No."  She tossed my offered sprinkle into the garbage.

   "Fine, I'll leave you alone then."

I started to walk away when I remembered the best part about the donut I'd picked, so I called back over the cube wall:

   "It's filled with Boston Cream!"

And then.

   "Oh my god, just let me suck all the cream out of it for you!"

Needless to say, we were shushed.

Quotes of the moment

I sit a few cubes down from a nice lady who's always on the phone, answering complex questions about insurance and claims and coverage.  She's so composed, well-spoken, polite and patient ALL the time.  And then today:

   "Well she should be strung up by her toenails for telling you that!"

Wow, was she ever mad!  :)
...

And then there was this gem from last night where someone was ranting about their roommate:

   "It's nice that she does the laundry and all, but she uses the dryer to dry all the clothes!"

Ludicrous!
...

   "Faster than a buttered ferret!"
        --Jubbly, letting me know how fast she could run in her heels

Quote of the moment

I was on a call today with a colleague who was working from home today because her daughter was sick.  We were discussing some edits to a document when she excused herself for a moment.  Away from the phone, I could still hear her:

"Put some clothes on, you're going to catch a chill...not a dish towel."

Spectacular.

Music to my ears

Last night I was washing dishes and cooking - multitasking, as usual.  Macklemore was playing to keep me company.  Coming up to the chorus, a familiar voice joined in softly next to my ear as warm arms slid around my waist. 

And I can't change

even if I tried

even it I wanted to

My love my love my love

You keep me warm

you keep me warm

He hadn't sung to me in so long.  It threw me back to one of our first nights in together.  We lay on the couch, my head tucked into his neck and his arms around me; his fingers trailing lazy lines up and down my back.

The lights were turned down low and the music was up loud, but not too loud that I couldn't hear him singing along with the song.  The words were sung quietly to my ear while the tones hummed straight from his chest into mine. 

I fell for him in that moment, years ago, and I fell a little more in that moment last night too.

...

As a side note.  I can't get enough of Macklemore.  Each of his songs is a story and I love stories.  Some are serious and some are just for fun, but in the end, they're all good stories.

Quotes of the moment

These are the ones that are amusing me right now:

   "She was up and gone in a flash; lithe like a ferret she was!"
        - JB, describing someone escaping an awkward seat on the TTC

   "This will allow me to expedite the meeting quicker."
        - Someone at work from the department of redundancy department

   "it's a cold day when celsius and fahrenheit meet." [sic]
        - mimster's FB status...because it's true

Quote of the moment

   "I think watermelon is the best tasting water there is."
       --Malcolm, over a giant bowl of watermelon

Quotes of the moment

A perfect one to follow the previous girly quote...

From one other girl to another:

   "These are really juicy melons."
   "Are you saying you like my juicy melons?"
   "I am."
...

This long weekend, we had a BBQ which we ended off by playing Cards Against Humanity.  If you've ever played it, you'd understand.  It's like mad-libs for people who have no sense of decency. Anyway, we had a howling good time, especially considering the fact that it was some people's first time getting to know each other.  At the end of the game, two strangers-turned-new-friends said their goodbyes to part ways.

   "Hey, that was fun!  It was nice playing and getting to know you."
   "Yeah, same here. I'm sure we'll see each other again."
   "Yup - in hell."

Maybe you had to be there, or maybe you'd have had to have played the game...that was pretty slick.
...

One of the winning card combinations of last night:
I got 99 problems but fisting ain't one.

Indeed.

Quote of the Moment:

From one girl to another:

   "Thanks for sharing your melons with me."
   "Anytime!"

The creepiness of carb withdrawal

I was sitting at my desk today, grumbling about having missed breakfast and my morning coffee when my co-worker came by.

   "Hey, there's a bagel in the kitchen that you should go eat."

   "Oh thank god - I'm starving!  Wait, why don't you eat it?"

   "Because I can't eat it - I'm getting married in a month!  You're getting married in four months; you still have time!"

   "Okay fine."

And so I got up from my desk and headed to the kitchen. To my surprise, she followed me. She wasn't getting food and she already had a drink in hand, so I chalked it up to just being social.

I got to the kitchen, and sure enough, there was one last lonely bagel on a breakfast platter, with cream cheese on the side, waiting to be used up.  I grabbed a plate and opened up the tub of cream cheese, ready to dress my bagel.

   "Wait!"

   "What?"

   "Aren't you going to toast that first?"

   "Oh, I hadn't thought about it. Yeah, I guess so."

   "Well, it's just that that's what I would do."

   "Oh, well, okay."

I tossed the bagel into the toaster, and together, my co-worker and I waited, chatting and making small talk with other visitors to the kitchen. When it was ready, I topped it with cream cheese and headed back to my desk, friend still in tow. I sat down with my bagel and took a bite before continuing my conversation with her.

   "How's the bagel?"

   "Good.  Thanks for letting me know it was there."

As we kept talking, I noticed something. Rather than make eye contact with me, my friend kept eying the bagel. Whenever I would pick it up for a bite, her eyes would follow it from the plate to my mouth and back.

   "Uh, did you want some of the bagel?"

   "No! Of course not!"

   "Well you can't take your eyes off it..."

   "It just looks really good."

   "You're starting to creep me out."

   "I'm kind of going through carb withdrawal."

   "I can tell."

   "So is it good?"

   "Yes, but I think you need to leave."

   "It smells really good."

   "I really think you need to leave."

   "Can you describe the taste to me?"

   "Okay, you really need to go now."

   "I'd better go..."

...

The things that we women do to look good on the big day.  I'm dreading the days that I force myself to go through carb withdrawal and become a food perv myself.

Lunchtime

I had a very productive lunch today. I found a new favourite gif to use at work:

I found a great quote:

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

                  -  Douglas Adams 


And I found a cool number:

I feel like I should make a wish or something...

...or perhaps get back to work.  You know, whatever...

"When I was your man" - Bruno Mars

Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
And it all just sound

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party because all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It's all just sounds

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to all the parties because all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours when he has the chance
Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man

Girl talk

Sometimes it takes one to know one. I can have hilariously intimate conversations with men as well (Malcolm and I practically have our own language), but there's just something about girl talk that really is just for girls.

Meeting dimps on Friday to head out to the bar, she called me out on my going-out preparation:

   "Oh, you have shit on your face. Is this a 'put-shit-on-face' kind of night?"
   "Oh god, not at all. I just haven't been out of the house in two days and thought I'd try to look presentable. You don't have to put shit on your face if you don't want to."
   "Okay, good."

But then you could argue that it's just because we've been friends for so long that we can just use language like that and get it.  But then how would you explain the fact that I found myself laughing in stitches on the couch the very next day, surrounded by women I'd met only hours earlier?

The hilarity was constant through the night, but there was some time near the end where we dominated the living room and starting talking about dating, weddings, first meets and fashion.  Following some giddy giggling about love stories, someone piped up,

   "Ladies, I'm all for the girly talk, but I swear to god  I just saw a cloud of estrogen explode in this room."
   "Was it pink with sparkles?"

*insert explosion of laughter, couched in pink, sparkly dust*

And then, to close the night at the beginning of our goodbyes,

   "Oh man, I had a great time with you gals.  We should really get together sometime to share some more vagina dust."
   "Omg, 'vagina dust' - so that's why it's pink."

Quote of the moment

A worry shared is a worry halved.

There wasn't a credit for the saying in the book I borrowed the quote from, but this is my philosophy.  Even if I don't receive advice (or receive good advice) from sharing my problems, I can feel a weight lifted from just sharing my burden, and then I feel like I can deal with it head on.

BTW

I was just on the phone with the project manager of this massive project that I've been working on basically since I started here.  We had a quick chat about a few details for upcoming communications and some edits to some past ones we'd done.  We talked about our plan of attack for some web messaging and finished up with discussion about the invoicing of a side communication through a third party. We were just about to hang up when I heard her voice call me back.

   "Hey, melody?"
   "Yup, still here."
   "Oh good.  By the way, you're doing a great job."

That was nice.