From the Pronk'd past

Went through the drafts just now. Deleted one. Probably going to delete another, but this one I can keep to share. I feel like writing a whole ton, but I don't think it'll be postable. Maybe I should make use of my lieu day soon...
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Internet's down at work again. Apparently the server's just being reset, but it sure is taking forever. Doesn't help that everything work-related that I could be doing needs internet access. Ah well--no better time to (try to) catch up on some good ol' fashioned hand-writing.
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Being the overly optimistic person at I am, I accepted the challenge task of making a GIANT SIZED poster, even though I wasn't exactly sure of the specs and stuff I would need. 3 hours later (I was on a deadline), I'd learned how to, and had created my first vector image. 24 hours later, I was nearing expert-level and had finished my second, much better looking vector.

Next, was a website. I knew I could create one with online tools (hello, blog), and I knew I could make them with Google Sites, so I did. Then I was given a domain name and host ftp...and I spent all of Sunday refreshing myself on HTML from scratch. 4 hours later, I had that website up and running without a WYSIWYG in sight!

Alright, I'm a little full of myself at the moment, but I'm pretty darned proud of myself for meeting those deadlines and for being able to now do things I couldn't do just hours previous.

I told GB about it and she told me "I like that about you. You look at something and say, 'I'm going to do that' and then you do."

It's true. Look out, World, there ain't nothin' I can't do (that Google can't teach me)!

Song of the Moment: "Love the Way You Lie" - Eminem featuring Rihanna

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint
And I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she fuckin' hates me
And I love it, "wait, where you goin'?"
"I'm leavin' you," "no you ain't come back"
We're runnin' right back, here we go again
So insane, cause when it's goin' good it's goin' great
I'm superman with the wind in his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snap
Whose that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get em
Now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at em
You swore you'd never hit em, never do nothin' to hurt em
Now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit em
You push pull each other's hair
Scratch pop hit em throw em down pin em
So lost in the moments when you're in em
It's the face that's the culprit, controls you both
So they say it's best to go your seperate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playin' over
But you promised her next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby please come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time there won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar if she ever tries to fuckin' leave again
I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Trafficus Ignoramus(es)

Traffic is unavoidable in the city of T-dot. But the things that peeve me to no end are: traffic for no reason, and people who just don't obey the rules.

Traffic for no reason is fairly self-explanatory. I mean, I understand when sometimes there's an accident on the highway that ties up traffic and creates a huge jam, but that gets cleared away by the time you reach it. But sometimes, there's just traffic without a cause and that drives me bonkers.

The other one, about people not following the rules, has two parts to it. There are the people who are just dumb and do dumb things that break the rules, and then there are the ones who just blatantly disregard the rules of the road. Cases in point:

• Yesterday I arrived behind another car at a three-way stop. The car on the left went through the intersection, then the car on the right went...and then the car on the left went. The car in front of me had luckily been aware of the area we were in (one that's rife with stupid drivers) and had only inched into the intersection. I was very pleased to watch him stare down the stupid, out-of-turn driver, questioning hand out the window with a very disgusted look on his face. Even better when you could tell StupidDriver was ashamed to look in his direction.


• On my way to work every morning, there's a point where I come to an intersection where there is a right-turn lane that MUST exit, and then just left of that is the through-lane to use to cross the intersection after which you may continue straight, or veer right. I have to veer right to get to where I need to go. Usually, there are buses in the right-turn lane who all turn right correctly at the lights. However, every once in a while, there are retarded drivers who use the right-turn lane as a through-lane. I could kill them. It never fails to ruin my drive in when I have to fight these Ignoramuses to get to MY right-veering lane. Today, I cut them ALL off. It's MY right-of-way, idiots.

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Apparently the term "Ignoramus" has been around since the sixteenth century--who woulda thunk?

Boldly Go Tik Tok

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That was awesome. Thanks, Shaky.

An elevated vocabulary

Yesterday it was a fam-jam helping Brodder move. Mid-move, we returned from packing things into the van, only to find that someone had stolen our service elevator. Not only had they stolen our elevator (understand that you have to get in, push the floor button, and then HOLD the close-door button until you begin your ascent), they had stolen it just so they could go to the second floor. Seriously.

Brodder ended up having to zip up the stairs to the second floor in order to bring it back down. Not a HUGE ordeal, but inconvenient enough--not to mention completely inconsiderate on the thief's part--to warrant mild-mannered dad to comment on it.

    "I bet it was the same guy that just smoked that doobie outside."

Brodder and I shook our heads; I bet he learned that word from mom.

They'll call me Freedom Forgetful

FIFA Fever. Everyone's got a flag flying out of their car window. I just realized that I also have a flag flapping off my car.

But it's not to show my over-enthusiasm for any particular team to win the World Cup.

It's not even a flag of a country (Canada) that's IN the World Cup.

It's so I can remember where I parked the car. Woo!

Sounds like team spirit

Sitting in traffic the other day, I found myself stuck behind a van flying Brazil flags out each window. Being in the midst of FIFA fever and it being a Brazil game day, that didn't faze me. What did faze me was how long it took the driver to notice the jersey clad, flag-wrapped, yellow and green hat wearing Brazil fans walking down the street next to the van. But then he noticed.

Honking ensued.

And then the driver was on the ball. There was another Brazil-flagged car coming from the opposite direction.

Honking ensued.

There was a lone jay-walker wearing a Brazil jersey, picking his way through the traffic.

Honking ensued.

And then I guess he just had an epiphanic Brazil fandom moment and he just leaned in on that horn for a solid 10 seconds.

And then I made a left turn out of traffic. :)

On Demand

If you're a Rogers customer you can sign up to watch the FIFA World Cup live online.

    "I can't get the game to work downstairs. I've tried everything. Restarting, downloading an update for Flash, signing out and signing back in..."
    "Want me to try it up here?"
    "Nah, I know it'll work up here. Anyway, even if I got it to work, I can't hear it because there aren't any speakers on that computer."
    "Well, if you want, I can stand stand next to you and just go: BzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzZZZZZzZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzZZZzzZzzZZZZzzZZZzzzzzz. Would that help?"
    "Hahaha. That's true, that might help."
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Sounds just like it, I swear.

That's what she said

    "Dear summer, stop teasing us. Thanks."
    --The Younger Toe, on FB

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Well, I never was. But, out of respect for a friend's request for anonymity, I kept her secret from his prying eyes. However, I think we're safe now--he's probably realized what a horrible creep he was and probably still is, and has removed himself from the visible blogosphere--and so I've decided to add her to my list as I've wanted to for so long.

Welcome back, dimps! I missed you. And miss you now...see you on Thursday!

Jumping on it

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

If you must know, I'm cheering for the underdog, whoever it may be each game. I could only ever be the goalie in this sport. Using my feet to handle a ball is such a foreign concept to me.

Another chicken joke

Last time I was logged in to blog, I worked for a long time on a post about a funny incident that happened at work. I took the time to write in all the details about what happened, how it felt, what other people's reactions were. It took me a while. It took me so long, I didn't feel like I was finished. That meant I'd taken too long. Good stories are short and sweet and don't take that much effort or time, even if they ARE long. And so...

• lunchtime at work
• Shaggy and YourFace fooling around
• I laughed
• I snorted chicken up my nose
• immense discomfort
• trouble dislodging whole bite-sized piece of chicken led to panic, panic led to more immense discomfort
• overwhelming emotional and physical distress led to desperate dislodging of the bite-sized piece of chicken
• my throat, ears, and nose were sore for the rest of the day into the following

F'in chicken.