Look What I Can Do!
Yeah, I typed this instead of typing my essay.

I don’t want to write this frickin’ essay. I think it should be about animals for some reason (probably because that seems the easiest topic right about now) but I don’t even like the animals that I have to choose from to write about. Who really cares about 25% anyway? And what do I lose per day? 5%? 10%? I really don’t even care anymore. I think I’d rather finish this rant and hand it in instead of an essay. I know it’d be a lot more fun to read. Or maybe I could just finish writing about…you know, that relationship stuff. About Him (no, not god, the other guy). Why can’t we have fun rants like this to hand in for marks rather than essays? Isn’t university all about honing our writing and ability to support an opinion? Well, my opinion is that essay writing sucks and that I’d rather write about my life and what the hell’s wrong with it instead. Isn’t that what’s more important anyway? Who I am and what I think? That’s what Emerson and Mill write about in their essays and books and whatnot. And they became recognized as classic writers of the 19th century!!! (omg, I learned something!) I’m too tired for this anyway. I fully intend—as soon as I’m done this rant—to climb upstairs with all of my books, crawl into bed with a pen and some paper, and fall asleep halfway into my first sentence. And then I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning and go to class and complain that I didn’t have enough time to finish because I had my twenty page essay due yesterday (only a half-truth) and didn’t have time for this one—could I hand it in on Friday? C’est la vie. And I know I won’t be the only one to do this either. Who knows? Maybe the prof’ll cry: “April Fool’s! You don’t have to hand in an essay at all! Funny, eh?” Yeah. Real funny; if only it were true. I’d laugh. Wouldn’t you? Holy crap. Look how long it took me to fill a whole page—NO TIME!!! No time at all! Okay, at least I know for SURE that it took me less than 10 minutes cuz I know it was five o’clock when I started to open Word, and it’s 5:11 now. I’m a fucking genius. Now if only these words would rearrange themselves into an essay regarding literature and culture of the 19th century, I’d be set! Ah crap.