It's hard to deal with the fact that the things you need are not always the things that you want; and that the things you want are not always the things that you can have. They say that honesty is the best policy, but what if being honest puts you somewhere where you don't want to be?

A single moment can change an entire year, and a year can end in a single moment. The worst is when that moment ends up lasting for days as it repeats itself in your mind's eye over and over, and everytime you wonder why it didn't work out differently, or why it worked out as it did, or wishing that it never happened at all. I'm sorry.
...

"Goodbye" - Alicia Keys

How do you love someone
That hurts you oh so bad
With intentions good
Was all he ever had

But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Maybe love is a hopeless crime
Giving up what seems your lifetime
What went wrong with something once so good

How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye (find the words to say goodbye)
When your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye (find the words to say goodbye)

I know now I was naive
Never knew where this would lead
And I'm not trying to take away
From the good man that he is

But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Was it something wrong that we did
Because others infiltrated
What went wrong with something once so good

How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye (find the words to say goodbye)
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye (find the words to say goodbye)

Is this the end are you sure
How should you know when you've never been here before
It's so hard to just let go
When this is the one and only love I've ever known

So how do you find the words to say
To say goodbye (find the words to say goodbye)
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye (find the words to say goodbye)
...

I've never shared my bed with anyone, but tonight it feels so empty. My bed feels empty, my room feels too big, and it feels like everyone's asleep but me. It's one of those nights that I want company during, but I don't want to have to do or say a thing. Remembering is hurtful, looking ahead is difficult, and experiencing the present is excruciating. Nobody said it was easy, but when did it get to be so hard?

Sometimes the solitude is so profound it seems to swallow me whole. It smothers me whole. It smothers me so that I can't escape, but only bury myself deeper into the realization that I am totally, utterly alone and that there is no one out there who can rescue me. For once, love is not here as my shield, life-line, or saviour. I have never been the best, nor will I ever be the best. All the encouragement and support I tried to motivate myself with was false and empty. I have no sustenance to me. People walk right by me without ever realizing I was there. I am good for nothing, bad at everything. Success is not written in my stars, and I am not the master of my destiny. As independent as I strive to be, someone always has to show me the way first. I have never missed my chance because opportunity has never knocked on my door. Nobody knows me so nobody could like me. My best efforts will never be enough. I am neither pretty nor ugly; I am plain and boring and blend in with the crowd and am forgotten. I dream without an end of reality. The only thing I can do is feel sorry for myself--at least I'm good at that.
...

Kraft Dinner is such a lonely midnight snack.