It's friday night, and I'm at home, alone. Oh I am so lonely. Actually, it's not so much that I'm lonely, but more so that I'm jealous that everyone I know is doing something. They're all out either drinking or drunk and they're all doing it with other people. I didn't even want to go out tonight until I heard that everyone else was out (yes, I suppose I would jump off the bridge). That's okay--I'm going to have a good time regardless. It's just me, Mashi, and blogger, but we're going to have FUN! Right Mashi?! Yeah!... :S



...

After working until 12am, I made a round of phone calls that made me feel the way I'm feeling now. It's my first weekend without hun-Gee since the semester started, and I got all lonely to know that he was already spending his friday night drinking with the Loo buds and watching movies. Hearing his plans, I decided that maybe I'd try to make a few of my own. But alas, every call I made found a person on the other end of the line who was already out somewhere having a drink or who was already drunk. From hun-Gee, to Q, to Chong, to Bar, there were enough good times going on to feed an army--as long as that army didn't include me. And it's not like they had excluded me on purpose or anything, in fact, I had been invited to catch up with each of them to join in on the binge drinking. But by then I just wasn't in the mood--who wants to be the last one to show up where no one's going to be sober enough to even remember you were there? I mean, it's not that I wanted to get drunk that night for a good time, I was just feeling a little left out by then, that's all. Anyway, I chose to give TK a lift to the station instead and have him listen to me whine about my mood the whole way there (he's so great at that).

Leaving the station, I was still pouty because I wanted to be doing something too, but by then I just didn't know what. I knew that I wasn't really in a social mood anymore, but I also knew that I didn't exactly want to go home either. I was half-way home when I realized what I wanted to do: I wanted to go for a drive. Tonight was a driving night. I'm sure you know those kinds of nights. The kind where you just want to get in the car and go. No where in particular, no destination in mind, no ETA--just an aimless, gas-guzzling, yet strangely sense-pleasing drive around the city. It was perfect weather too: it was cool out, the rain was lightly coming down, and it was late enough that there was that "late" feeling in the air where you knew if you were anyone else, you should've been home by then. Although my drives are aimless, they'd be somewhere downtown where I'd have things to look at. The stumbling after-clubbers; the flickering neon-lights of dingy coffee shops; the over-crowded, ridiculously cheap, after-hours eateries; the looming construction cranes and the precarious pits they ruled; the aimless walkers seeking the same cure as me, only on foot instead; the sparking streetcar wires and the screeching tracks--absolutely, mindlessly sense-pleasing, I tell you. If I'd gone for my drive, it would've instantly cured my loneliness and anxious-to-do-something feeling. I came home instead to write about it though. I think I'm glad I did.