In the Office

Handfuls of these were being passed around the other day; there's a full complement of females at the office, and well, we apparently share everything.
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"You know you've got it bad when your best friend tells you you do."
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I sent a pat on the back...


...and got the Pinky Finger of Logic in return.

    "BWahahahahaha! I didn't realize your hands were so hairy!"
    "hey can you send me my hand......I never got to see it..."
    "Loser." *attaches image*
    "wow....the hairs do show up....I'm definitely surprised....hey do you need a hand? HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!"
    "I repeat: Loser. Hahahahahahahhahahahahaha."
(the emails may not exactly have gone like that, but I'm at home without the originals now...and my version's probably better anyway.)

**UPDATE - the emails are now correct...and to be honest, I wasn't very far off the mark! *pat on back* :)
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Having had Indian food that night with her new boyfriend, she was conscious of the fact that she had to hold in any gas building up inside all night; the relationship was still a little too new for her to be so comfortable with her bodily functions around him yet. When they finally climbed into bed, she was relieved; aside from some mild stomach discomfort, she'd made it through the night without letting anything slip. In the middle of the night, not long after they'd fallen asleep, she was rudely snapped out of her slumber--by the sound of her own fart! Horrified, she turned to her boyfriend to find him still peacefully asleep. Further relieved by then to find that he'd not been awakened by the same thing that had woken her, she (still slightly embarrassed) slipped back to sleep.

After a spell of time had passed, she shared this amusing story with a co-worker of hers. To her amusement, not only did her co-worker convince her it wasn't a big deal, her co-worker returned with a story of her own!

In her recollection, she had also just begun a new relationship, and, similar to her situation, had climbed into bed with her new beau after an evening of mild stomach discomfort, credited to a probable build-up of gas. However, her co-worker hadn't quite been alarmed at this build-up since the blanket she shared with her beau was described to be heavy and sure to muffle any moderate passings of gas. However, somehow through the night her co-worker had managed to roll over so that she slept on her side and the comforter covered everything but her back, and, consequently, her rear. And so, when the moment happened that she woke herself by farting exquisitely loudly, there was nothing to muffle it and she panicked because it was so startlingly loud AND her beau STIRRED in his sleep next to her. Absolutely mortified, she pretended to have slept through the entire event, and ever had the courage to peek (or later ask) if her beau had been woken.

In a fit of giggles by now, they discussed their situations.

    "Seriously, Indian food wasn't a good idea--I'm just so glad my boyfriend slept through it all!"
    "It's been a while now though, hasn't it happened yet? I mean, aren't you guys comfortable with that sort of thing?"
    "Not just yet. I mean, I guess one day it's bound to happen that we'll fart in front of each other, but the first time won't be after Indian food. And just be glad that even if your beau heard you do that that night, he didn't get up and make a big deal out of it or make fun of you for it."
    "Yeah, I guess. I guess he could be sweet, or now he thinks I'm just some strange girl that saves it all the time and just farts explosively in her sleep."
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The words just had to come out...I was on such a roll of sleeping early too...