The first time I opened my eyes this morning, everything moved in slow motion. Awoken by the sense of something coming close, my eyes groggily opened to see Sherman's face above mine. He was still asleep, but yet his face neared mine slowly and surely until...he head-butted me.
That's right. Sherman head-butted me in his sleep.
This wasn't even a case of a bad roll-over; somehow Sherman managed to prop himself up onto his elbow so that he could knock his forehead against mine from above. And it wasn't even that he slowly fell back down onto me--there was some definite neck-motion in it. Let me tell you: not a pleasant way to be woken. He didn't even know he'd actually done it until I let out a cry of surprise that snapped him into consciousness and had him immediately apologizing and trying assess the damage as I clutched at my brow.
Because it was still so goddamn early, I was able to fall back to sleep quickly--or perhaps I was knocked back into unconsciousness due to concussive injuries--and didn't have to dwell on the pain too long. Sherman has yet to hear the end of this.
...
I do believe this just might top my previous favourite story of weird awakenings: Squiggly, while dreaming of getting into a road-rage related fight, woke up just in time to watch himself slowly finish landing a punch to his then-girlfriend's cheek as she gaped in the same amazement that I probably did this morning. Sorry, Squig--you'll just have to do better than that.
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