Monday, April 13, 2009

Picking up pieces

"After the Rain" - Blue Rodeo
...
the most important thing I've learned is that being right means shit. All it does is place your own pride over the feelings of the other person.
    ~ehbaba
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I've heard that Canadians have been accused of being too apologetic; apologizing for things they're not necessarily at fault for. Sure it wasn't your intention to bump shoulders when squeezing by someone else in a narrow hallway, but it just seems natural to apologize, doesn't it? It does to me.

So sometimes, heated moment or not, I apologize. Perhaps it's not because I think I've done something wrong, but it's genuinely because causing someone any sort of discomfort is not what I would have wanted to do in any case. Sometimes it's that tiny "I'm sorry" that diffuses something what was on the verge of exploding. It doesn't cost very much, but it's utterance can be priceless in the right moments.

But then again, I'm Canadian--what do I know?
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I can do anything I put my mind to. However, I don't claim to be perfect. The only time I've been kept from realizing my dreams, is when something prevents me from trying my best. When I'm allowed in and allowed to spread my wings, I can soar.

Then there are the times when I choose to stop trying. That happens when I've tried enough, and I need someone else to take a turn. I haven't given up, I'm just waiting for a hand.
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My next post will be my 888th post. I hope it's a good one.
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I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth

    --Pink
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I get a little antsy when I sit in the quiet for too long. I find the need to seek out some sort of white noise to take the edge off the silence. Be it music, a TV talking in the background, or the murmur of other people going about their daily lives, it's that sort of filler that both distracts me and helps me focus at the same time.

The distraction is from my constant stream of thoughts and strings of imagined stories and conspiracies and plotlines. The focus comes from having to now tune out all of the extra sound to hone in on whatever the task at hand was in the first place. There are so many songs on my iPod that I've probably heard but never listened to because of this.

The above would also give explanation to why some nights I fall asleep to music, and let it play all through the night.
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I watched Twilight finally tonight. Oh to be back in high school to not be with boys this time around, but instead wait and save it for the sake of simplicity. As if.
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Okay. That's enough. I was thinking about writing italicized fictions about life and love and loathing, but was too self-conscious to do so, worrying that people might see too much of themselves in them and fret over where the lines of fiction end, and fact begins. There's that saying where "beauty is in the eye of the beholder;" I wish there were some saying to that effect about seeing yourself as the character in a story.

1 comment:

ehbaba said...

My thought process as I read the quote headlining this entry...

Hmm..that sounds familiar. Wow...it's pretty profound...let me read it again. Wow...that was really really well put but DANG it sounds so familiar!!! Oh...right...

I'm going to copy and paste that onto my blog now so I don't forget it hahaha.