Too Early to Say Goodnight

There are words here that want to come out. I'm exhausted and want to sleep, but they just won't go away. I don't even know what I want to say, but it seems I'm holding onto a little bit of guilt for not having posted (and lamely so) since Tuesday. Had I not been so cozy in bed already, I'd upload pictures of the mischeif that I get up to at work, but alas, my $23473874925293l.00 bed that I bought all by myself (even though it appeared on daddy's credit card) is just soooo comfortable and beckoning.
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"Oh right, your non-fight fight."
"Exactly."
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Trust is like a tube of toothpaste. You start off with a full tube, but everytime you give that tube of trust a test, a squeeze, some of that trust comes out and is lost--have you ever tried to put toothpaste back into the tube? Point is, as much time as you may take with what you've squeezed out, you might get something back into the tube, but that tube will never be full again.

I learned that in grade 10. At Bishop Allen Academy. From my OSSSA team leader and weekend fiance that I shared with one other. He proposed to me with a wire string of sparkly hearts from a Valentine's decoration, and agreed to be married while skydiving. I think he proposed to the one other girl that I shared him with the same way, but they were to be married while scuba diving. But because we had an open relationship and her and I were great friends, our trust-tube remained full the whole weekend. Funny who you learn lessons from.
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"I'm not weird, I'm special."
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The Nons
- non-fight fight
- non-fling fling
- non-relationship relationship
- non-word word
- non-cuddle cuddle
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AG
JEON
SI
SALIVAS
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Señorita and I caught up tonight. She asked me about one of my posts and I told her. She told me that her friend, RedSash, was a reader too, and sometimes didn't get what I wrote either. I told her to tell her to comment me, and I'd comment back. I write to share, if I wanted this all to myself, I wouldn't have a public site. Besides, comments/messages make me feel popular; it never ceases to amaze me when I learn that anyone comes here at all. Regardless of what Señorita told me, I still think I'm my own biggest fan.
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I think I've dozed for more time that it took me to put words to this post. There's still more, but they'll have to find me tomorrow.
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This morning was excruciatingly early, but worth every second of wakefulness.
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"You have stolen my heart..."
    --Stolen, Dashboard Confessionals