Monday, November 26, 2007

Late Night Longings

It's 2:30 in the morning; I've just waxed my legs, knit half a scarf, and did the dishes, and now I'm strangely overcome with a compulsive urge to cook some sort of gourmet meal. Mushroom risotto with some sort of chicken, and stuffed tomatoes on the side. Inexplicable.
...

Another explosion rips across the screen as the hero tumbles to safety. She is on the edge of her seat, gripping the seat cushion with both hands; a guilty pleasure on a Friday night, she's rented brainlessly titilating action flicks to watch with him. During the heroic monologue, she steals a glance at her movie-watching companion; only he's not watching, he's sleeping. She smiles.

She knows her sporadic sleeping habits are hard for anyone to keep up with, and instead of being frustrated at being left to watch the movie alone, she finds his stolen slumber endearing. The flickering of the screen softly lights his face and she takes note of such details like his soft eyelashes, blushed cheeks, smooth forehead. Looking sweetly innocent, she feels compelled to lean over and place a kiss on his temple. She doesn't.

Instead, she turns her attention back to the screen. As though he sensed her watching him, he stirs and wakes--she pretends to not have noticed him sleeping, feigning rapture in the minimal storyline. They continue to watch in silence, save for her enthusiastic outbursts at the screen which he always grins at in response. Between explosions, she wonders if she should have given in, if he will finally find the courage to kiss her himself.

It's a game she's tired of playing. It's no fun to play when you always win.

...

Lately, I've been afraid of my computer. I'm afraid to open her up, log on, and find messages, notes, and letters awaiting me. Like an addict, I can't refuse and I can't stop. The words just keep coming and pouring onto the page, the screen, and there's no end in sight. Who knew my fingers had so much stamina? Who knew I had so much to say?
...

Song of the Moment: "My Way Out" - David Usher

Standing at the edge
The edge of it all
Spitting off the top
Watch the day unfurl
Cannot see the view from this place
Clouds are on the rise world is out of faith
Took another pill to find my way
Hope that you'll be there

'Cause this is my way out of it tonight
And this is my last chance to ease the fire
And this is my way out of it tonight
How about you
How about you

Borrowed from a dream
That I use to know
All my friends were there
We watched the world explode
Took another drink to find my way
Just hope that you'll be there

And if I could remember
If I could find a place a time the space to see another way home
And if I could forget you
Maybe there's no other way out
No other way out

'Cause this is my way out of it tonight
And this is my last chance to ease the fire
This is my way out of it tonight
I might find one way to get through
How about you
How about you
How about you

...

I love songs that paint stories for me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

...or some lasagna...

- dimps.

ehbaba said...

If you ever feel the urge to cook a gourmet meal again, remember that I am only a phone call away.


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