What if this is As Good as it Gets?

"You make me want to be a better man."

"How do you write women so well?"
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."
...

I want to make someone want to be that, and then I want to see him strive to fulfill his goal before I find it's too late. It's one thing to hear the words, but entirely another to actually be able to believe in them.

Speaking to another tonight, we found the frustrating thing to be in relationships was when you found someone that made you want to be a better person, but when you worked so hard and actually became that better person, they were still in the same spot as when you started. The game of Leapfrog only works when the person behind puts an effort to get ahead. What's the point in running a race if no one is running against you?

I'm barely holding onto my reason and accountability these days. I say one thing, but I want to scream another. I refrain from doing one thing, when in reality I just want to dive in head first. I want to learn more, but I feign uninterest for fear of learning too much. I'm acting like a man to keep myself from being the woman I really am. I probably shouldn't share these things--they'll ruin my stone-cold facade--but misery loves company. Call me Misery.

I haven't decided if I'm lucky or not that some people are stronger than me, regarding the same situation; they're watching me go crazy without even knowing it.
...

"How do you tell yourself not to fall?"