Of All The Assets In The World...

Alright, the "Hello" story from my girly day on Friday. Acutually, it's probably more accurately named the "Helllll-lo" story from Friday. So Señorita and I went to STC after class that day so that she could get my opinion on a dress. We went into Le Château to take a peek, and while she was wandering around the dress section, I busied myself with the accessory racks. This awesome black necklace/choker caught my eye on one of the lowest set of hooks so I bent over to make a closer inspection. I wasn't down there for more than 3 seconds when I heard a "Helllll-lo" from behind me.

I bolted straight up and spun around to face my greeter. There stood a male sales associate, not two feet away, with this grin plastered on his face. I was still trying to get around the fact that he had just greeted my ass when he asked me,
    "Is there anything I can help you with?" with that same pervy grin on his face. I was still flustered and rather than the quick-witted, sharp-tongued remark that I would've normally doled out to a grin such as his, I only managed a:
    "No...no, I was just loooking...at stuff...that I want...but can't have...($25 for a necklace?!)..." How quick-witted of me...*groan*

Señorita found me and caught the last bit of mine and that sales associate's stand-off there (as well as his grin), and two seconds later she had dragged me away to hear the story and to gawk at him from a safer distance. Of course she laughed a bit at my expense, but then--as any good girlfriend would do--made a point to lip read over my shoulder and determined that he'd gotten his buddy in on his grin and were un-discreetly glancing my way. We left shortly after that; one, to escape their glances and grins, and two, so that Señorita could burst out laughing at my loss for words.

It wasn't the fact that a guy had made a pass at me that confused me. It wasn't even the fact that he'd been pervishly checking out my ass as I'd been bending over in front of him. It was the fact that of ALL things it was my ass that had caught his attention! Now, I'm not putting myself down or anything; I don't have issues with self-esteem in the least. But I DO know that of all my physical attributes, my ass is the one area in which I am DEFINITELY lacking. Why else would Boobin make me those "No-Ass™" cards every year? Getting down to it, if that guy was trying to flatter me by making a pass at my ass, he didn't--he only made me wonder..."What the hell's wrong with your eyesight?"

Although I wish I'd had something wittier to say to Mister Grin at that moment, that's not what I regret from that day. What I most regret is telling Squiggly and Boobin about the experience later that day. As they both know about my lack of ass, they found it hilariously funny to wander around behind me, calling out "Hellll-lo" every other step of the way to Yuk Yuks. Not funny guys. Not funny. That's okay though...by the time I'd ushered them into Hooters to have wings and catch the end of the Raps game, they'd forgotten about me and my lack-thereof. So easily distracted men are...