One girl, one cup

With the cold weather moving in and my tendency to drink warm liquids throughout the day, I like to drink them in thermal mugs, even at home so that the heat doesn't escape as quickly. However, there are only so many thermal mugs in the house. I don't have time to wash a million at the end of the day, let alone the single one I've committed myself to using. At best I give it a thorough rinse before going ahead and pouring myself whatever warm drink I've decided on next. That usually works just fine.  Except for tonight. Tonight my Bengal Spice tea tastes like Bengal Spice barley water coffee.  Boo.

Not a loss

I have a contrived moment to myself and have a million and one other things that I need to be doing, so what better time to blog than now?

I was doing some research for a paper (please don't ask) and was uplifted by the fact that the CEO of a very successful, iconic company that I kinda like lists as his education "University of Toronto, BA, English Literature." There IS hope for people like us!
...

By the way, I'm a mom now - to the cutest baby on earth. More when I can...but not to worry, I have a full journal to borrow from! ♥

Song of the moment: "Roads untraveled" - Linkin Park

Weep not for roads untraveled

Weep not for paths left alone

'Cause beyond every bend

Is a long blinding end

It's the worst kind of pain

I've known

Give up your heart left broken

And let that mistake pass on

'Cause the love that you lost

Wasn't worth what it cost

And in time you'll be glad it's gone

Woah-oo-oh-oh

Woah-oo-ohh

Woah-oo-oh-oh

Woah-oo-ohh

Weep not for roads untraveled

Weep not for sights unseen

May your love never end

And if you need a friend

There's a seat here alongside me

Woah-oo-oh-oh

Woah-oo-ohh

Woah-oo-oh-oh

Woah-oo-ohh

...

It's not a mood thing; it's a freaking awesome song thing.

SMH

Overheard at the doctor's office this morning:

*giving a postal code*

"...2...Y..."

"'Y' as in 'you'?"

"No. The letter 'Y'."

"Like 'you'?"

"No. Like X Y Z."

"Yes, like 'you'."

"No."

...

She could have used any other word, and she chose "you."

Quote of the moment

I think I might either start a category of "that's what she said" or maybe even a whole separate blog of "shit my co-worker says."

Yesterday's gem was as we stepped outside into the humid Toronto afternoon.

   "Ick, it's so humid.  I feel like I'm always so wet and moist!"

I had no words.  I don't even think I said goodbye when we parted ways. :)

Confession

I just tried to fart quietly in a public place...and failed.

Quote of the moment

   "That's not pregnancy rage, that's there-are-too-many-people-on-this-planet rage."

       -- Jubbly

Father's Day

On Father's Day - the day that was supposed to all about him - my dad ran out and chased down the neighbourhood ice cream truck to buy a twist cone for pregnant me. I didn't even ask him to. :)  That's why we have a day for dads.

Morning laugh

My work participated in the TELUS walk for diabetes this past weekend.  Getting back to work, my co-worker, who BAILED on the event, put out a general call for any pictures from the walk.  I'd snapped a cute selfie of my peeps, so I thought I'd send it to her.

To: Bailing co-worker
From: melody
Subject: Picture

Here you go, bailer. ;)

---------------------------------------------------------------

And then the response:

To: melody
From: Bailing co-worker
Subject: Re: Picture

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????????????????
I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Yup, I lol'ed...so loudly that an instant message popped up on my screen:

"I hear you got my email..."

Afternoon laugh

I forgot that I had Malcolm's wallet in my purse last night, so today, he had to go without.  When he called me to let me know that he'd gotten through the day safe and sound without it, we had the following conversation:

him: "Oh, and honey, if you find any phone numbers in my wallet, I just want to let you know that they're not mine."

me: "Well, I figured that you wouldn't have to have copies of your own number in your wallet."

him: "Hahaha. Yes, of course.  But if you find any other numbers in there, they're not mine either. They're, uh, client phone numbers."

me:  "Ah, and the ones written in lipstick are just the ones that you wrote down after your pen ran out?"

him: "Of course! See, you know me so well!"

...

Unbeknownst to me, my coworkers were able to hear most of that conversation (my ears are clogged today) and had a good laugh too.

Quote of the moment:

My dad has a short memory and confuses his words easily most of the time...

   "So, you had lunch today with the sweets?"
   "What?  With what?"
   "The sweets."
   "Do you mean [my volleyball team that's named] Sugar?"
   "Yes."

Oh dad.  I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Pregnant achievments

Like most posts about pregnancy that I've been reading lately (this one was an AWESOME one, apparently written by a friend of a friend), I've been coming to the realization that this really does change your life.  I mean, right, DUH, but even the little things.  The little things that I'm thinking about today are the goals that you set for yourself.

Before, my goals for myself were like:
- cook an amazing, delicious and romantic meal for two for dinner!
- train and run a 10K race!
- clean the bathrooms!

Now, it's more like:
- figure out something that you can palate and eat more than a total of 5 bites
- make it up the stairs without running out of breath
- sneeze/cough without peeing yourself

Today, I succeeded on two out of three of those goals. I'll leave it to you to guess which I failed.

Pregnancy rage

What is pregnancy rage?  It's what takes over women from time to time when they're pregnant.  It makes them crazy.  It doesn't feel  like you're crazy when you're in the grips of this rage, but you are. Example?

Early on in my pregnancy, like, in the second month or so, all was well during the day.  Malcolm and I were still the newlywed couple, very much in love and even more so now that we knew we were expecting a new addition to our family.  But at night...

...at night, Malcolm had the AUDACITY to try to cuddle with me!  I'd be all settled for sleep on my side of our king-sized bed when all of a sudden, he'd put his arm affectionately around me, kiss me goodnight and go to sleep like that! WTF? The moment I was sure he was asleep, I'd pincer his wrist between my thumb and forefinger like it was used tissue, and fling it back onto his side of the bed. Some nights he'd try to reach for me again and I'd scoot further away.  There was at least one night that ended with me balanced on my side on the very edge of the bed, trying to stay out of his reach. I had the most trouble falling asleep those nights because I was fuming. 

Who does my husband think he is, trying to show me affection while I'm TRYING TO SLEEP?!

And then, just the other night, I was boiling a pot of water on the stove.  Malcolm walked by, noticed this, and put the lid on the pot for me.  I nearly lost my shit.

If I'd have WANTED the lid on the pot, I would have PUT the lid on the pot!

It's not just Malcolm that sets me off either. I nearly assaulted a friend because she admitted she's parked in the expectant mother spots before, without ever having been an expectant mother. 

I...can't...even....

Luckily, in all of these instances, I've realized that there was an element of psycho to them so instead of acting on my feelings or letting them explode out of my mouth, I silently fumed and brooded the fire away. Sometimes it could take a few days or weeks, but I made it.  

So all these times that people warned me of "pregnant brain" or raging hormones and emotional swings, I at first dismissed them.  But now that I'm halfway through my own pregnancy, I have to say that they are SO true. Those of you who are expecting should probably be told about these things.  But really, it should be those of you who are NOT pregnant but that will probably find yourselves in the presence of someone that is - YOU are the ones who should be warned about pregnancy rage.  Because you could be a victim.  And it could be bad.  Trust me.

Trending names

With a baby on the way, obviously I've been trying to be attuned to names in the attempt to find the perfect one for our future bundle of joy.  In a quick search today, I was presented with a box of "trending names" so I thought I'd take a peek.

Now, honestly, I love a little creativity and uniqueness when it comes to people's names.  I loved the fact that even to this day, I can probably count the number of other girls I've met with the same name as me on my ten fingers.  Maybe even on just five of those.  But this one...I don't know about this one...

And it's TRENDING...

What did the fox...wait, fox?!

Slacking in any area is getting blamed on baby brain. :)  Oh yes, we're having a baby!

As with other big events in my life, I've started yet another journal just for this one.  I'll probably share more of those posts later, but there was one thing that took place last night that I just can't skip.

With being pregnant, I've been having amazingly lucid dreams. So lucid, that I'll wake up in the morning (with some crazy difficulty every time) and wonder...was that real? From things like attending SilentR's wedding, to cooking cocaine in an RV à la Breaking Bad, they're pretty hilarious, but surprisingly detailed and convincing.    However, none are probably as convincing as Malcolm's dream was to him last night.  He told it well in his own words, so I won't ruin it...

That's what she said

And really, she said it.  Loudly.  At work.

Our director brought donuts in this afternoon.  My gluten-free friend noticed them go by and groaned - donuts were definitely not going to be gluten-free.  I grabbed one and then visited her at her cube.

   "Hey, want a sprinkle?  These might be gluten-free."

   "No."  She tossed my offered sprinkle into the garbage.

   "Fine, I'll leave you alone then."

I started to walk away when I remembered the best part about the donut I'd picked, so I called back over the cube wall:

   "It's filled with Boston Cream!"

And then.

   "Oh my god, just let me suck all the cream out of it for you!"

Needless to say, we were shushed.

Why would you TELL me that?

I was just checking the forecast when I noticed something:

Isn't that the most depressing stat?

Look like moviestar

It was Malcolm's birthday yesterday and to celebrate, we went out for dinner with the fam and some of the usual suspects.  Malcolm and I arrived with mom, while Brodder showed up with LiMonGuy, and Dimps and Nightcrawler rounded our group out.

We'd of course met up for Malaysian food and enjoyed the usual overstuffing of our faces.  While Brodder and LMG had to leave early, the rest of us stuck around, enjoying the shitty (yes, that's literal) conversation that ensued.  Sometime during our chatting, I motioned for the bill, but it never came.  Even when Nightcrawler tried to sneak up to pay for it, he was also presented with nothing.  Puzzled, I got up to interrogate our servers.

   "Can I get the bill for that table, please?" I motioned to where we were sitting.
   "Oh, no bill - paid already," she explained in her broken English.
   "Paid already?  Who paid?"
   "Oh, the handsome one."

I looked back at the table where of all of us, Malcolm was the only male sitting there at the moment.  I motioned to Malcolm to try to get her to clarify.

   "He paid?"
   "Oh no, not him."

Not Malcolm?  Those at the table who had heard giggled.  So then Nightcrawler?  Since he'd returned to the table by then, I motioned to him and asked again.

   "He paid?"
   "Oh no, the handsome one."

Not Nightcrawler either.  We were in stitches by then.

   "He's tall..."
   "Oh, Brodder!  Were there two tall people?"
   "Yes, yes!  Tall.  Handsome!"

Of course - how could I have mistaken Malcolm or Nightcrawler for the handsome ones?

Song of moment: "Sail" - AWOLNATION

Sail

This is how I show my love
I made it in my mind because
I blame it on my A.D.D. baby

This is how an angel dies
I blame it on my own supply
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Sail
Sail
Sail 
Sail
Sail

Maybe I should cry for help
Maybe I should kill myself (myself)
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Maybe I'm a different breed
Maybe I'm not listening
So blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Sail
Sail
Sail 
Sail
Sail

La la la la la
La la la la la oh!
La la la la la,
La la la la la oh!
La la la la la,
La la la la la,

Sail
Sail
Sail 
Sail


Sail with me into the dark
Sail
Sail with me into the dark
Sail
Sail with me into the dark
Sail 
Sail with me
Sail
...

I've really liked this song from the moment I heard it. I love the sudden notes of abrasive bass throughout.  I added it to some "liked" list on a player and when I clicked it, it took me to the video.  The beginning grabbed me.  It was exactly what I wanted in the video for this song.  And then, 1:19.  I don't know if that killed the video for me, or made it better.  Feel free to make your own judgement.  I still love the song.

Nothing broke

I was listening to music at work on 8tracks.com...and then I wasn't.

I like the pictures that these websites come up with to let you know that they're having problems at the moment.

Twitter
Chrome

Quotes of the moment

I sit a few cubes down from a nice lady who's always on the phone, answering complex questions about insurance and claims and coverage.  She's so composed, well-spoken, polite and patient ALL the time.  And then today:

   "Well she should be strung up by her toenails for telling you that!"

Wow, was she ever mad!  :)
...

And then there was this gem from last night where someone was ranting about their roommate:

   "It's nice that she does the laundry and all, but she uses the dryer to dry all the clothes!"

Ludicrous!
...

   "Faster than a buttered ferret!"
        --Jubbly, letting me know how fast she could run in her heels

Reverse Gizoogle

I'm not one to follow politics or give comments on them in general, but this one is a tough one to pass up because the comments keep coming and they're gems.

For those not in the know, our dashing Mayor, Rob Ford, was caught in yet another video this week.  Instead of an alleged crack pipe, it was Jamaican patois:

And then, in the spirit of my previous entry about Gizoogle, someone took the time to transcribe and "translate" what exactly the Mayor said in the video - what I am referring to when I say it's reverse Gizoogle.

The other two are more obscene, what our Jamaican translator called “indecent language.” The first, “raasclat,” is a deeply offensive term that refers to a rag used to wipe one’s buttocks after defecation. As slang lexographer Jonathan Green explained in a 2011 online post, “raas by itself means the buttocks, and by extension the whole person.”

Click here to read the whole article published on the National Post.

And then came the comments:

   "I can't get past 'ya raasclat bumbaclot.' LoL!"

   "Seriously, why he doesn't have a reality show is beyond me. The City should look into this, it'd be an excellent source of revenue.  It could pay for a lot of things, like subways or even gravy trains."

   "I love his defense too: 'It was my own time, that's how talk with my friends on my own time.'"
   "Absolutely.  On our personal time, some of us baby talk with our significant others, some of us use curse words with our friends.  The Mayor, he slips into Jamaican Patois.  Totally legit defense."

Totally.

Quote of the moment

I was on a call today with a colleague who was working from home today because her daughter was sick.  We were discussing some edits to a document when she excused herself for a moment.  Away from the phone, I could still hear her:

"Put some clothes on, you're going to catch a chill...not a dish towel."

Spectacular.

The big day

It really was the happiest day of my life.  While there were more tears shed that day than any other, they were tears of joy and happiness.  It went by so fast as I was told it would.  It felt like it was happening to me, rather than as as planned--not to say that it ran wildly out of control--it definitely didn't.  I don't even have any words. Perhaps I'll just capture pieces at a time.
...

Find the pieces under the wedding label.

Gizoogle my noogle

Go to gizoogle.net.  You'll know you're in the right place when you see the spinning rims.

Yup, that's the place.  

I've known about this site since about a billion years ago.  Pablo showed it to me once and while I never forgot it...I put the knowledge of it safely away somewhere in my mind and never bothered retrieving it for amusement...until last Friday.

One of my co-workers speaks proper English with a British accent, but every so often she'll prove her "street-cred" (her words) by throwing down terms like "fo shizzle" and "skillz."  On Friday, she did just that and it subsequently reminded me of Gizoogle, which I promptly forwarded to her.

Cue hysterics.

This made its way through our team like wildfire, putting us in stitches as we read over each others' shoulders and laughed together at the results.  We did it to our work site, the news, and other familiar and unfortunate web addresses. We did our best to keep the giggles down, but they ended up catching the attention of our Assistant Vice President who came out to check on us.

   "What's going on out here?"
   "Um, we're gizoogling things...?"
   "Gizoogling? What does that mean?"
   "Well, we go to this site, type in web addresses, and then this happens..."
   *used our work site as an example*
   "Oh my god, that's amazing!"

Fo' shizzle.

Music to my ears

Last night I was washing dishes and cooking - multitasking, as usual.  Macklemore was playing to keep me company.  Coming up to the chorus, a familiar voice joined in softly next to my ear as warm arms slid around my waist. 

And I can't change

even if I tried

even it I wanted to

My love my love my love

You keep me warm

you keep me warm

He hadn't sung to me in so long.  It threw me back to one of our first nights in together.  We lay on the couch, my head tucked into his neck and his arms around me; his fingers trailing lazy lines up and down my back.

The lights were turned down low and the music was up loud, but not too loud that I couldn't hear him singing along with the song.  The words were sung quietly to my ear while the tones hummed straight from his chest into mine. 

I fell for him in that moment, years ago, and I fell a little more in that moment last night too.

...

As a side note.  I can't get enough of Macklemore.  Each of his songs is a story and I love stories.  Some are serious and some are just for fun, but in the end, they're all good stories.

This would amuse only me

All of the communications we create at work that are going to be shared with the general public have to go through a review process to make sure we're not saying anything we're not supposed to.  I just received a document back from the review and our legal reviewer went through and removed all the references to "partnerships."  It made me think of that over-bearing boyfriend (or girlfriend) who refuses to put a label on a relationship.

  "We're not dating, we're just seeing each other."

  "We're not partners, we're just in a strategic alliance."

I guess I get it, but yeesh.

Quotes of the moment

These are the ones that are amusing me right now:

   "She was up and gone in a flash; lithe like a ferret she was!"
        - JB, describing someone escaping an awkward seat on the TTC

   "This will allow me to expedite the meeting quicker."
        - Someone at work from the department of redundancy department

   "it's a cold day when celsius and fahrenheit meet." [sic]
        - mimster's FB status...because it's true

Did have a cow

In January of last year (2013) I attended a conference and one of the giveaways was a little plastic piggy bank. Except it wasn't actually a piggy bank, it was a cow bank.  Not really one to collect all my change, I repurposed the cow for something else.  I decided it was going to be my Cow of Awesome.

My what?

My Cow of Awesome.

I decided that every time something awesome happened, I'd jot it down on a piece of paper and keep it in the cow.  Then, at the end of the year (or, as it happened, at the beginning of this year), I'd open up the cow and see what awesomeness had taken place over the year.  Today was the opening day.

Awesomeness spilled out all over the table.  One by one, I reminisced over the year as Malcolm stayed close by to share in the memories.  There were a lot of wedding ones, but there were a lot of other randoms too.  Many memories were made with others, though Malcolm and I also got to share a number between the two of us.

I've since relocated the awesomeness to a nondescript envelope for the time being, until I can figure out the best way I can store them for the future trips down memory lane.  In the meantime, I needed the Cow back to start this year's stock of awesomeness. :)

From _______, with love

My favourite souvenir to give and receive is a postcard, personally written and sent from wherever I (or the sender) has traveled to.  It's perfect: it (usually) gives a picture of where you are, you get to personalize it with a message, and then the postage and stamp is something unique to that country.  Not only that, it's delivered right to your door (or mailbox - whichever the case, it's for YOU).

Boxing day morning found me, JBG, and a few cousins lounging around the dining table over coffee and leftovers. For the hundredth time, I complained to K about the fact that I've sent her a ton of postcards from all the places I'd been to, but I'd still yet to receive one from her from ANYWHERE.  She'd even once sent one to our grandmother from Brazil. To accommodate the fact that grandma didn't read English, K had sent her a picture of herself in Brazil with the simple message on the back: "To grandma :) *heart* K." Grandma still hadn't understood the message or who it was from, but SHE'D GOTTEN A POSTCARD.

I digress.

Jupiter asked what the big deal was with postcards.

"It's just a postcard."

Just a postcard?

I left the table to go grab my collection of postcards I'd received from around the world. I selectively pulled out the ones JBG and Brodder had sent me, including a few randoms - even that selection turned out to be quite a number.

"I got this one when I was 8, from JBG. I spent WEEKS trying to positively identify him from the pictures...why would he lie?"

"This one, I hear the song in my head EVERYTIME I read it."
"What song?"
"Meow meow meow meow - you know...the Meow Mix song?"
"Oh yeah!" *laughs*

As we dug through my collection, there a lot of laughs and a sprinkling of gasps of horror at how ruthlessly hilarious the messages were.

"What's brown and hides in the attic?
The diarrhea of Anne Frank."
"Oh gawd, that's AWFUL!  But funny.  But AWFUL!"

Catching Jupiter in a laugh, I pointed at him.

"THIS is why you send postcards."

"Yeah, I get it now."

Indeed.