Friday, May 30, 2014

Pregnancy rage


What is pregnancy rage?  It's what takes over women from time to time when they're pregnant.  It makes them crazy.  It doesn't feel  like you're crazy when you're in the grips of this rage, but you are. Example?

Early on in my pregnancy, like, in the second month or so, all was well during the day.  Malcolm and I were still the newlywed couple, very much in love and even more so now that we knew we were expecting a new addition to our family.  But at night...

...at night, Malcolm had the AUDACITY to try to cuddle with me!  I'd be all settled for sleep on my side of our king-sized bed when all of a sudden, he'd put his arm affectionately around me, kiss me goodnight and go to sleep like that! WTF? The moment I was sure he was asleep, I'd pincer his wrist between my thumb and forefinger like it was used tissue, and fling it back onto his side of the bed. Some nights he'd try to reach for me again and I'd scoot further away.  There was at least one night that ended with me balanced on my side on the very edge of the bed, trying to stay out of his reach. I had the most trouble falling asleep those nights because I was fuming

Who does my husband think he is, trying to show me affection while I'm TRYING TO SLEEP?!

And then, just the other night, I was boiling a pot of water on the stove.  Malcolm walked by, noticed this, and put the lid on the pot for me.  I nearly lost my shit.

If I'd have WANTED the lid on the pot, I would have PUT the lid on the pot!

It's not just Malcolm that sets me off either. I nearly assaulted a friend because she admitted she's parked in the expectant mother spots before, without ever having been an expectant mother. 

I...can't...even....

Luckily, in all of these instances, I've realized that there was an element of psycho to them so instead of acting on my feelings or letting them explode out of my mouth, I silently fumed and brooded the fire away. Sometimes it could take a few days or weeks, but I made it.  

So all these times that people warned me of "pregnant brain" or raging hormones and emotional swings, I at first dismissed them.  But now that I'm halfway through my own pregnancy, I have to say that they are SO true. Those of you who are expecting should probably be told about these things.  But really, it should be those of you who are NOT pregnant but that will probably find yourselves in the presence of someone that is - YOU are the ones who should be warned about pregnancy rage.  Because you could be a victim.  And it could be bad.  Trust me.

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