Monday, January 19, 2009

But who knows if you'll remember?

Last night I learned a few things from people with too much information.

How to score lower on a Breathalyzer test
Exhale all the air you've got. Then breathe in through your nose. Take that new, fresher air and breathe it all out through your mouth as soon as you can (without looking suspicious) into the breathalyzer.

Ta-da!

Because that new breath didn't have all that same time to absorb all the alcomohol that might have been circulating through your system, it'll come out a little, "cleaner," if you will.


If you're screwed anyway, how to not get charged for impaired driving
Drink in front of the cop. Just start knocking them back like a champ.

Ta-da!

That way, if they're going to consider you a drunk, they won't be able to tell if you WERE drunk, or JUST GOT drunk.
    "Sorry, officer, I know I smashed my car, but I had to have a drink because of it--it's to calm my nerves."
...

Though helpful, I hope none of you actually have to use this info. If you want, they're selling single-use breathalyzers at Wal-Mart for $1.50 so you can test yourself before you get into your car. I'll buy a couple for you if you think you'll need them.

If anything, it was an interesting learning experience from the pros.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Some truth to that. I Live in Alberta, Canada and a buddy at a house party I was at did this. He was presumably over the limit when he hit a neighbours parked car as he was leaving. He went back into the house and told the cops when they got there ten mins later that he drank only after the accident. He got charged with driving with undue care and attention I think.