Speechlessly sleepy

My voice is barely a whisper, but apparently I can still belch with the best of them. ...ewwwww...

I thought I'd sleep early, but who could resist a lingering conversation with a passer-by friend who's bound for the other side of the globe in mere hours? Besides, I had some knitting I found to do. I think he needed the sleep more than I did, but here I try to go first.

Bon voyage, mon ami! Il y a quatre jours avant Dimanche. Ce n'est pas tres mal, non? Bonne chance!

Late night rambling

I love that I can be so melodramatic with my writing. As Dimps said:

    "It is most of your name as it is anyway. It only makes sense."

And it DOES. Who knew writing about the act of changing of bedsheets could be both so charged and dramatic? Melo-dramatic, that is.
...

This weekend, I watched a man pick his nose, and proceed to use that same hand to dig through the pile of mushrooms that were on sale.

I also watched a small child burst out of a candy store and come threateningly close to throwing a full-bodied tantrum on the mall floor. It was thwarted when his father burst out after him and scooped him up to take him back inside with the words:
    "Okay, okay, just joking!"
My mother would have just let me try to throw a tantrum as she walked on without me, telling me she'd wait for me in the car. That or she would have threatened to count to 3, and by 1 and a pause, I'd be up and dry-eyed, as candy-less as a dentist's office.

Finally, I saw a movie that I probably shouldn't have seen (but who could resist such stringability?) and left convinced that its infamous writer wrote the whole movie around a SINGLE line that must have come to him in his sleep--and he woke up the next morning convinced he'd just had an epiphany needed to be shared with the world. Some people just don't wake up sometimes...

"Live for nothing, or die for something."
    --Rocky Balboa I mean, John Rambo

Seriously. Oh. My. Gay.

Fact: until now, I had no idea why they called him Rambo. It was as Epic as the movie experience with Hero Cookie. You know, the one where I had to throw popcorn at him because he FELL ASLEEP. It almost feels a little weird to think now that I watched a movie of equally epic proportions without that Thundering Chicken of a presense.
...

Le dernier film pour la nuit de films des femmes, nous regardons "Paris, Je T'aime," mais je n'aime pas le film parce que je ne comprende pas beaucoup des histoires. Et, le film est dans francais! Nous avons lire les captions! Mais, c'est la nuit de films des femmes, et c'est toujours un bonne temps. J'aime mes femmes.

(It's probably most horrendous because I only looked up "stories." Go grade 9 French!)

Dealing

Items were thrown across the room, things were pulled and punched. Belongings were stripped down, articles were stretched and torn, tears were shed. Frustration was dealt with and though she didn't go to bed angry, she went quieted.

Rationalizing something doesn't make it fair. I am still a reckless optimist who always gets up after being shoved down by fate's sick sense of humour; and I get up swinging. Even at the worst times, little encouragement is needed, but any is always appreciated. There are no arms for me to run to, and so I'll do it alone because I must.

Love is a losing game that I insist on playing to win.

Song of the Moment: "Head Over Feet" - Alanis Morissette

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
...

While I was (not) getting ready to go bridesmaid's dress shopping (YAY), I was pumping the iTunes at random and this song popped up. I think at some point, all of Alanis's songs have been mine for a moment, even before I had the blog to tell everyone so. Maybe more about that later. Must go practise sucking it in!

A Brief Morning Briefing

My drive to work with my wife this AM was filled good gigglies as I told her of a bunch of recent events and conversations to have transpired since (and about) our girly weekend return.

    "Um...he's sturdy...stout...oh, but not fat; he's not fat!"
    "And how well do you know the applicant?"
    "Very well. Since high school."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "...um, my parents wanted us to get married?"
    *laughs*

FINALLY!
...

    "But then you lost all your points."
    "WHAT?! But I just got those!"
    "Yeah, I know, but you lost them for that Boyz II Men comment."
    "But I was joking!!!"
    "I know that too, but she didn't think it was a very funny joke."
    "Dammit..."
...

    "Well, you've always got camping."
    "Yeah, but that was my TRUMP card, not my stay-on-the-board card."
...

    "Dins."

Off-ended Conversations

    "Hey, I need to ask you a few questions."
    "Um, okay..."
    "I'm putting you down--I'm not asking you, you have no choice--as one of my references for my passport renewal."
    "Huh. Okay. That makes it number 4 this year. I'm so reference reliable..."
    "Yeah whatever. Okay, so I already put in your name...I need...address...number 1...Z----- W---...hey, is that one word or two?"
    "Are you serious?"
    "Well, what is it?"
    "I can't believe you're asking me this!"
    "..."
    "It's two!"
    "Ah. I guess the W--- is instead of a Road or Street, huh?"
    "Yes...I can't believe you have to ask me! You practically live here!"
    "Yeah well..."
    "Anything else?"
    "Mmmmmm...*reading form*...nope, that's it. Thanks!"
...

:p

If asked, I could have rhymed off said offender's complete address, postal code, and birthdate, as well as all available phone numbers. Just sayin'. BAH!

Speaking of BAH!:

    "Bah!!!! I'm in mtg now!!"
    "BAH! I’m still at work…but my brain left hours ago!"
    "Bah!!! My heart never came back with me [...] on Tues morning!!!"
...

We'll see where that goes. Maybe TMI, but hey, I'm on a roll.

And a good one it is

This morning as I was brewing a pot of fresh ground coffee, I turned on an old playlist on the computer; I'd left Jenny upstairs in bed. As I putz and listened, I realized something--I may still be young (a yoot, if you will), but my taste in music has really grown up. Here on the old family computer, I've got scores and scores of poppy-pop, and playful hip-hop and dance. Back up on Jenny, and I've got gigs of classical, indie, and rock (though admittedly still some poppy-pop).

That's not to say that you can't be mature listen to fun tunes and that growing up means listening to "serious" music, it's just that I noticed. Before it was all about downloading the latest and the greatest that everyone else was listening to, but now while it's still partly about downloading the latest and the greatest, it's now more about the stuff that defines my tastes and likes and curiosities and moods.

Then: Craig David, Avril Lavigne.
Now: David Usher, Adam Lavine.

(Okay, I tried.)
...

In assurance of conversations last night, I will not be censored, but I will strive to be the better writer I know myself to be. I may be a little on the melodramatic side most of the time--making a bigger deal of things than they are--but then, that's just me. If I want to share, I'll share; if I want to hide, then I'll hide.

But truth be told--we all know I'm an exhibitionist that performs to be seen, that races to be chased, and who lives on the edge for the thrill of falling and being caught.
...

P.S. I've brought Jenny down to the kitchen (though am still listening to my old skool music on the other computer) to write, the sun is streaming in through the window onto my bare legs, I'm finishing the last of this morning's coffee, cooking lunch, just finished doing the dishes, and true to the predicitive suggestion...I've blogged a bit already. I'm glad I was coerced out of bed this morning. :)

P.P.S. I forgot to mention that I was also dancing around (I'd say booty-shaking, but we all know that's a lie) in my boxers the rest of the morning. TMI, but that was probably the second best part of my morning. :D

Busted

And what to do? Honesty is always the best policy, but man can the truth hurt sometimes. To be honest, you must be brave, and god knows my knees are shaking.

Knees may buckle, but trust you'll be caught if you fall. You are braver than I.

The Moment Frozen in Time

Great weekend, girls...

Quotes from the Capital Weekend:

    "I smell like a KFC wet-nap."
...

    “Do you guys mind if we drive there?”
    “Of course not! You’re talking to the two laziest people in the world here!”
    “Hey!...Well, it’s absolutely true, but I just felt like I should say something.”
...

    “Hey girls, time to put on some jeans and let’s go for dins.”
    “Oh my gay.”
...

    “I didn’t shave my legs this weekend.”
    “Neither did I.”
    “I didn’t shave my pits this weekend.”
    “Neither did I!”
    “We’re so classy.”
    “Oh. Yeah.”
...

    "Oh. My. Gay."
...

    "Do I look like someone who cares?"
...

    "I heart Gertie."

In the name of...well, names

Girls weekend in Ottawa! From the moment we left home, to well, this moment now (because who knows when I’m going to get to post seeing as these big name hotels just love to charge you for EVERYTHING and NO ONE seems to have a free wireless network floating around that isn’t secure, or else the ONE that sometimes pops up on my network radar is just so WEAK that nothing will connect long enough to even load up GOOGLE...but I digress) it was a lot about the names. Names of places, things, people—ones that already existed or the ones that we decided to arbitrarily assign.

It all began when we started blazing our trail eastward. And by blazing, I really mean that—Avril shaved off over ½ an hour from our estimated arrival time. The first city name to catch our attention was...Bowmanville.


“THIS is the life and landscape I turned down with ACG, guys...”
“Man, you sure lost out!”
“You should call him up and get him to meet us now.”
“Hah. I bet it’d be the most interesting thing he’d done in MONTHS if we did that.”

And then we started to drive through places named things like Northumberland and Leeds-Grenville, areas that Dimps had nearly applied to work in but didn’t because she hadn’t recognized the area codes.

“So THIS is where these places are. Thank God I didn’t apply here!”

The ride was giggly and goofy, especially with playlists called “Old-School Pop” and CDs named “The Illest Shit.” Great things like Spice Girl solo performances happen with those on the speakers...but that's another post...with videos that were threatened to be deleted, but thankfully Jenny (not a new name, but a name nevertheless) was there to save such moments immediately.

While we had a general sense of how to get TO Ottawa, navigation within the city once we were there was another story; the concierge maps they gave us were NO help at ALL. We were so grateful by the end of our first day to our at-the-last-second-loaner GPS that we named her. She was a robust, reliable, solid presence, so we chose the name accordingly; Gertrude Prudence Solid (pronounced “soo-leed”)--Gertie for short.

It was the next morning when we were greeted by our next naming opportunity.

“Why don’t you tie up your hair?”
“Do I look like someone who cares?”

And so, we named Dimps’s cowlick--Amy, in honour of Amy Winehouse’s usual big hair. Decidedly, Avril had one as well (since they both slept with wet hair) and hers was named AJ--Amy Jr.

Breakfast was at Cora’s where soon after we were seated, a group of guys self-sat themselves at the table behind ours. Immediately we knew they were going to trouble and an instant headache for our awesome server and so we named them the Stupidos.

While much more happened over the weekend other than just a bunch of random re-naming, that's to follow in another post (though I really should just get to bed). I don't think I missed any, though Avril suggested changing a nickname that already existed to another--Lover Lover--but that one just didn't fly due to heavy x-nayage. :) Some class acts from some classy ladies.

One more for Valentine's Day

Heard it on the radio on the way home and thought to myself: Perfect. How could I have ever overlooked this one?.

This is how you should love--so dangerously that your heart never stops racing. This is how I love.
...

"Dangerously In Love" - Destiny's Child

I love you... I love you, I love you

Baby I love you, you are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side
You're my relation and connection to the sun
With you next to me, there's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrops, I am the sea
With you and God who's my sunlight I'm blooming, grown so beautifully
Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl
You make the confusion go all away from this cold and misty world

I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

I know you love me, love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am, baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy, easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me
Later on in my destiny I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife and I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you, sometimes makes me wanna cry
Realize all of my blessings, I'm grateful to have you by my side

Every time I see your face, my heart smiles
Every time it feels so good, it hurts sometimes
Created in this world to love,
to hold, to feel, to breathe, to live you
Dangerously in love

In the name of Love

I burned myself a bit while baking cookies last night for my office girls. Regardless, my batch of chocolate chip/chocolate chunk/white chocolate chip cookies is almost gone, with surprisingly less than half of them having been devoured by me.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Musings of a Snowy Sleeplessness

A prisoner of responsibility, I wish I could just run out into the snowy wonderland below and let myself be awed and inspired by the beauty of frosty nature herself.

The drifts are curvacious, the falling flakes--soft. To lie in the snow is like being enveloped by arms meant for holding you and only you. The freshest blanket, untouched, is as flawless as a perfect complexion. Brilliantly white, a seeming sparkle admist the sheen, and a pristine glistening inspires ideas of a mystically innocent purity. If the snowscape that falls is created by an effeminate nature in the image of herself, Old Man Winter sure knows how to pick 'em.

Damned Quote of the Moment:

Coach:
    "Okay ladies I want to check with you all about practices this week. Who's going to be there for Wednesday's practice?"

Enthusiastic chorus:
    "I'll be there!"

Coach:
    "Okay, now how about Thursday's practice? Don't forget that Thursday is Valentine's Day so if you have plans, I need to know if you're bailing on me."

Un-enthusiastic chorus:
    "I'll be there..."
...

Now, that either means we're a bunch of really dedicated volleyball players who are committed to practices no matter the occasion...or we're a more than available bunch of ladies.

Who needs a specific day out of the year to show the one you love that you love him? When you're in love, you show him every day of the year; every minute of every day. You never take him for granted, and every morning that you're lucky enough to wake up next to him, you fall a little more, and smile to yourself as you get butterflies in your stomach because you remember that the best part of it all is that he loves you back--just as much.

All of the Moment

Song: "If You Want Me" - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
Featured in the motion picture Once

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can't tell dreams from truth
for it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore

When I get really lonely
and the distance causes our silence
I think of you smiling
with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you’d believe me
when others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
when you know I really try
to be a better one to satisfy you
For you're everything to me
and I’ll do what you ask me
if you’ll let me be, free

If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me
...

It's on repeat--iTunes says we're up to 8 since I got home from work/practice.
...

Quote:
    "All the darkness of the world cannot extinguish the light of a small candle."
    --Reza Deghati - photographer
...

    "...Match Point."
    "That's what I thought but I wasn't sure. That's just bait, you know."
    "I know, but in all honesty, I picked it before anything else. I like it."
    "It's still bait."
    "I know. But I won't be censored."
    "I know."

And the Spies Hide Out in Every Corner

Paranoia: I am used to being read, but not used to being watched. There is no certainty, only an inkling, but the problem lies in the fact that I trust my instincts. A step too close for comfort, but with only a brief glance over my shoulder I will continue on as always.

I refuse to be phased--I am strong with too much conviction to be convicted.

Starbucks Sagacity

    "In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make-believe is called reality, it is most important to have real love, truth and stability in your life."
    -- Bernie Brillstein (my emphasis, because that is what is most important.)
...

I was told today that in regards to romance and finding a match for myself, I was too picky. I disagreed; I'm not too picky, I know what I want and refuse to settle. In the long run, if that means I have to wait, then I will wait. I can be patient, and if this means enough to me (which it does) then it will all be worth it. Some of the best things in life are best savoured slowly, allowed to unfurl on their own.

Who's in charge?

Hey how u doing?
Are u officially the president of JFedC?

I didn't realize you'd stepped down from the position and left it open?! I am officially, UBER-JFedC-ed. I think I hurt more now than ever. It's like I'm missing a part of my own body.

fukk

I didn't realize I had the president position?!?! I expected u to be more JFedC than ever after this last week!!! You may be missing a limb or two, but at least you know *tap tap*.

OH. I am SO JFedC. SO. S.O. fuck. Screw being the president--you can keep that if it was yours in the first place. I'm going to be the EMPEROR, RULER OF ALL JFedCs FOREVER!

I'm more than head over heels...more than passionate. It's bad, and it's been less than 24 hours.

Wow!!!! You are messed up!!!!

Messed up? I really think "effed-up" is the word you're looking for. I really feel like I've lost an appendage. Worse than leaving your cell phone at home, or locking your keys in the car. WORSE.

Are you still bleeding profusely....after losing an appendage? The total agony.....!!!!

Bleeding is incessant. I’ll probably suffer from massive hemorrhaging soon and die of a broken heart on top of the missing appendage. AGONY. Actually, I take that back, the agony isn’t so bad anymore once you’ve gone numb, and I think that’s where I am right now.
...

Wait, some President was replaced by an Emperor because someone had a limb lopped off? I'm so confused! hahaha.

When you make a good team, communication is never an issue--you always just make sense to each other. And what could be more important?

It could have been the phone...

"Hello?......Oh, I'm on my way home......I'm with dimps and Avril, we were at ween-tah-lee-shuss......no, Winterlicious......no, we went to eat food......okay, see you soon, bye."

Perfect Gratitude

To my sister,

You don't know how much I owe you for the most perfect weekend these past two days. Without you, I would never have been allowed to smile so much, and fall so deep. You're the best family member I've never had, but will always love because you and I will never be weird, and we will always understand.

Thank you. So much.

Quotes of the moment:

    "You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big[.]"

    "I don't want to waste another moment of my life without you in it."

    --Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff), Garden State
...

Sometimes movies are just better the second time around, and sometimes movies are better because of who you watch them with.