I feel empty. The throbbing ache hurts enough for me to consider a drink. And there's no explanation. All I did was remember.
Memories of a past not so distant. Of friends and laughter, of futures and paths so bright and promising. Pictures of scenes so happy; of couples so in love. Nothing is as it seems on the surface.
A piano serenades my searing solitude from some place beyond the threshold of my confinement. I don't know the song, but it sings to me; a soundtrack to my saddening reverie.
Reminders of late speak and say that life is too short; tomorrow is not a promise. And how to interpret that? Hold on to what you have and keep it dear to you? Or take a leap and strive for the best with the notion that you have nothing to lose? The temptation is to leap--even before looking. Too much thought only confuses the process.
Was the past happy because it was simple? Or is the present complicated because it's passionate? While I've never regretted anything, unexpected mementos can catch me off guard, not knowing how to feel.
I don't want give with a fear of rejection. I don't want to take with the notion of force. I just want to be myself; free-spirited and full of life. I've never been anyone else.
I could wonder and write all night, and I'd never reach a conclusion. Memories of love only battle with reminders of rationale. It's a vicious cycle that I have yet to learn to navigate my way out of this time around.
No comments:
Post a Comment