Could Have
Tonight the stars were out. I noticed them as I headed into my house after a long day of moving, working, fundraising, driving, and more moving. There wasn't a moon out, so they stood out and shone that much brighter. I paused on my porch to gaze at them a bit, but the streetlights interfered too much. I was willing to bet that if I could be taken somewhere in the middle of a field without any such light pollution around, I could have seen the arc of the sky tonight--it could have been breathtaking. It could have been a precious moment to share with someone. It could have just been nice. Too bad I don't know, even though I was led to believe I could.
Two and a half hours ago, if I had just stayed home I could have gotten six hours of sleep before work, practice, and more moving. Now I'll only get four. I thought it could have been worth it.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
The Road Home
I was on the road tonight at around 2am. I decided to take the scenic route home which was along the main roads rather than the highway. I enjoyed my drive a little too much; the roads were just so empty and the route I was following just happened to be made up mostly of new pavement so the ride was just so smooth. It seemed like the night was opening itself up to me, inviting me to keep on driving until morning. I compromised and instead took the longest way home and then some; the drive home that would usually have taken me fifteen minutes suddenly took me forty-five. A short trip in general, but spending that much time in the car alone with just yourself and the open stretches ahead makes everything seem a lot longer than it really is, especially when it's in the middle of the night. I drove on when the lights were green, and stopped or turned only when I had to. I got out of the car once for coffee and posterity, and then finally headed home feeling a little more complete. Sometimes some people forget how important it is to spend some "me" time doing things for themselves that they would otherwise feel like they have to justify to others--I don't intend on ever being one of those people.
...
The car circled the parking lot once, casting its headlights on the group of guys gathered by their motorcycles before it turned away from the drive-through lane and into a parking spot out in front of the Tim Horton's instead. The bikers barely paused their biker-talk as they glanced over and sized up the driver, but their gazes never broke from the small figure as it made its way to the doors. Three friends sitting inside at the window also glanced up from their conversation to see whose headlights had so briefly blinded each one of his eyes. The counter attendant was the last to take notice as he only glanced up after the driver cleared her throat and smiled to get his attention. As the attendant put together her order the driver smoothed out the pleats in her skirt and turned up her jacket collar against the air-conditioning. After he handed her her coffee and change, she smiled and headed back out towards her car, meeting every pair of eyes that were on her--friend or biker's--challenging them to say something or else look away; most of them looked away. Moments later the driver was back behind the wheel, the ignition was started, and the car was leaving the parking lot, its headlights once more falling on the guys by their bikes or just inside the window. The girl spent no more than two minutes there; she could have easily gone through the drive-through, but that wouldn't have been as much fun.
I was on the road tonight at around 2am. I decided to take the scenic route home which was along the main roads rather than the highway. I enjoyed my drive a little too much; the roads were just so empty and the route I was following just happened to be made up mostly of new pavement so the ride was just so smooth. It seemed like the night was opening itself up to me, inviting me to keep on driving until morning. I compromised and instead took the longest way home and then some; the drive home that would usually have taken me fifteen minutes suddenly took me forty-five. A short trip in general, but spending that much time in the car alone with just yourself and the open stretches ahead makes everything seem a lot longer than it really is, especially when it's in the middle of the night. I drove on when the lights were green, and stopped or turned only when I had to. I got out of the car once for coffee and posterity, and then finally headed home feeling a little more complete. Sometimes some people forget how important it is to spend some "me" time doing things for themselves that they would otherwise feel like they have to justify to others--I don't intend on ever being one of those people.
...
The car circled the parking lot once, casting its headlights on the group of guys gathered by their motorcycles before it turned away from the drive-through lane and into a parking spot out in front of the Tim Horton's instead. The bikers barely paused their biker-talk as they glanced over and sized up the driver, but their gazes never broke from the small figure as it made its way to the doors. Three friends sitting inside at the window also glanced up from their conversation to see whose headlights had so briefly blinded each one of his eyes. The counter attendant was the last to take notice as he only glanced up after the driver cleared her throat and smiled to get his attention. As the attendant put together her order the driver smoothed out the pleats in her skirt and turned up her jacket collar against the air-conditioning. After he handed her her coffee and change, she smiled and headed back out towards her car, meeting every pair of eyes that were on her--friend or biker's--challenging them to say something or else look away; most of them looked away. Moments later the driver was back behind the wheel, the ignition was started, and the car was leaving the parking lot, its headlights once more falling on the guys by their bikes or just inside the window. The girl spent no more than two minutes there; she could have easily gone through the drive-through, but that wouldn't have been as much fun.
Monday, August 16, 2004
Worlds Colliding
Shmelly had free tickets to go see the Jays' game yesterday, but since I couldn't go as I was at the wedding, he ended up going with Squiggly instead. That was cool. When they got there, they got free parking, 50% off their food, and a free slice of pizza--all by the seventh inning when the Jays were ahead, 7-3. That was not cool. I was supposed to go to that game with Shmelly!!! Why were they having such a great time without me?! I suppose it sort of evened out by the eighth inning which was when they left since the Jays let in 8 runs making the score 7-11 for the Orioles.
But still. And wait, it gets worse.
Later, I called Shmelly from the wedding to say hi and discovered that he was STILL out with Squiggly. By then, they were out at Just Desserts having a drink and talking. It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been just the two of them, but no, they were with RoadTo and Wendikiss! And they were having the talk that I was supposed to be having with Squiggly. AND they were having a good time. WITHOUT ME!!!
I couldn't believe it. But wait, there's more.
After their good time at Just Desserts, the four of them decided to rent a movie and head over to Shmelly's to watch. They rented my favourite movie, Love Actually--figures. They probably got all cozy in my spot on the couch too. So, there are the four of them, watching my favourite movie, at my favourite place, with my favourite men, and then by the time I get there, they're all gone except for Shmelly who was passed out anyway. *sigh* Honestly, I'm glad they had a good time, and I'm glad that they all got along so well--there was little doubt about that fact as it was--but I wish that I could've been there too. However, from the sounds of things, there looks to be many more good days like this in the future that I might be able to join in on.
...
On a side note, just before closing, I would like to say that I am cheering for NinaDiva. All the way.
Shmelly had free tickets to go see the Jays' game yesterday, but since I couldn't go as I was at the wedding, he ended up going with Squiggly instead. That was cool. When they got there, they got free parking, 50% off their food, and a free slice of pizza--all by the seventh inning when the Jays were ahead, 7-3. That was not cool. I was supposed to go to that game with Shmelly!!! Why were they having such a great time without me?! I suppose it sort of evened out by the eighth inning which was when they left since the Jays let in 8 runs making the score 7-11 for the Orioles.
But still. And wait, it gets worse.
Later, I called Shmelly from the wedding to say hi and discovered that he was STILL out with Squiggly. By then, they were out at Just Desserts having a drink and talking. It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been just the two of them, but no, they were with RoadTo and Wendikiss! And they were having the talk that I was supposed to be having with Squiggly. AND they were having a good time. WITHOUT ME!!!
I couldn't believe it. But wait, there's more.
After their good time at Just Desserts, the four of them decided to rent a movie and head over to Shmelly's to watch. They rented my favourite movie, Love Actually--figures. They probably got all cozy in my spot on the couch too. So, there are the four of them, watching my favourite movie, at my favourite place, with my favourite men, and then by the time I get there, they're all gone except for Shmelly who was passed out anyway. *sigh* Honestly, I'm glad they had a good time, and I'm glad that they all got along so well--there was little doubt about that fact as it was--but I wish that I could've been there too. However, from the sounds of things, there looks to be many more good days like this in the future that I might be able to join in on.
...
On a side note, just before closing, I would like to say that I am cheering for NinaDiva. All the way.
Sweet Sunshine In August
Everyone took their seats as the ceremony was about to begin. The bride, in her yellow dress of lace, waited at the end of the aisle just out of everyone's view with her brother by her side to accompany her down the aisle. A moment later, she heard her cue--the double bass at the front began to pluck out his line, and in a second he was joined by the saxophone in their jazzy rendition of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". As the musicians played, the groom in his bright yellow shirt smiled and watched his brother-in-law walk the bride down the aisle towards him to the beat of the song. Just as they reached the front, the bride was twirled around once before her hand was passed to the groom, who took her into his arms and together, they danced to their song. They continued to dance even as the Justice began his speech, just as if no one else was there; their matching colours like a bright ray of sunshine in the middle of the room.
My aunt and uncle got marriedtoday yesterday. They had actually been together for twenty-five years already, but they finally decided to make it official. You could tell that the officiality of a certificate, ceremony, or celebration didn't really make a difference to them--they were as much in love today as they were twenty-five years ago. You know when everyone taps their cutlery against their glasses in order to make that tinkling noise to get the bride and groom to kiss? Well, the first time that happened at the reception, my uncle stood up as my aunt took his hand and she did a spin into his arms before he dipped her back in order to kiss her--that's love for you.
They told everyone that it was going to be a simple wedding and to come casually--after twenty-five years, they gave only two weeks of notice to their guests. Nobody seemed to mind though as everyone mingled and laughed and took turns inspecting the gigantic family tree that the bride and groom had prepared for their guests to insert their own pictures into.
The Justice of the Peace who ordained the wedding had spent some time getting to know the couple before helping they exchange their vows; his speech as they danced reflected that.
"The bride and groom discovered early on that they both had a love for traveling. One of their expeditions found them camping in Kenya where a male Kenyan native came upon them and after taking a moment to look the bride over, promptly offered the groom five goats in order to have her for himself. The groom steeled himself and took a stand, announcing it would take seven goats to part him from the bride."
Still dancing to the jazz with my aunt at the front, my uncle admitted with a shrug that the story was true.
The rings that my aunt and uncle exchanged also had a long history that the Justice revealed to us.
"The groom's mother passed on some time ago, and after she did, the groom's father insisted that their wedding bands be kept together as a pair. The rings will continue to exist as a pair as they are being exchanged today by the new couple as symbols of their marriage."
The touching part was that the groom's father, over seventy years old, stood and got out of his wheelchair in order to hand the rings to his son.
So many sweet things happened that night that I'm not including that just made the whole room glow of love. Things like the reunion of a long distanced family; like the speech my uncle's father made to his son; like the vows my aunt and uncle exchanged with each other; like the heart shaped fruits; like the sunshine through the yacht club windows. Maybe because it was a wedding and maybe because I'm a girl I got all mushy everything, but if I ever wondered about whether or not love could last a lifetime, I stopped wondering about it that night.
Everyone took their seats as the ceremony was about to begin. The bride, in her yellow dress of lace, waited at the end of the aisle just out of everyone's view with her brother by her side to accompany her down the aisle. A moment later, she heard her cue--the double bass at the front began to pluck out his line, and in a second he was joined by the saxophone in their jazzy rendition of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". As the musicians played, the groom in his bright yellow shirt smiled and watched his brother-in-law walk the bride down the aisle towards him to the beat of the song. Just as they reached the front, the bride was twirled around once before her hand was passed to the groom, who took her into his arms and together, they danced to their song. They continued to dance even as the Justice began his speech, just as if no one else was there; their matching colours like a bright ray of sunshine in the middle of the room.
My aunt and uncle got married
They told everyone that it was going to be a simple wedding and to come casually--after twenty-five years, they gave only two weeks of notice to their guests. Nobody seemed to mind though as everyone mingled and laughed and took turns inspecting the gigantic family tree that the bride and groom had prepared for their guests to insert their own pictures into.
The Justice of the Peace who ordained the wedding had spent some time getting to know the couple before helping they exchange their vows; his speech as they danced reflected that.
"The bride and groom discovered early on that they both had a love for traveling. One of their expeditions found them camping in Kenya where a male Kenyan native came upon them and after taking a moment to look the bride over, promptly offered the groom five goats in order to have her for himself. The groom steeled himself and took a stand, announcing it would take seven goats to part him from the bride."
Still dancing to the jazz with my aunt at the front, my uncle admitted with a shrug that the story was true.
The rings that my aunt and uncle exchanged also had a long history that the Justice revealed to us.
"The groom's mother passed on some time ago, and after she did, the groom's father insisted that their wedding bands be kept together as a pair. The rings will continue to exist as a pair as they are being exchanged today by the new couple as symbols of their marriage."
The touching part was that the groom's father, over seventy years old, stood and got out of his wheelchair in order to hand the rings to his son.
So many sweet things happened that night that I'm not including that just made the whole room glow of love. Things like the reunion of a long distanced family; like the speech my uncle's father made to his son; like the vows my aunt and uncle exchanged with each other; like the heart shaped fruits; like the sunshine through the yacht club windows. Maybe because it was a wedding and maybe because I'm a girl I got all mushy everything, but if I ever wondered about whether or not love could last a lifetime, I stopped wondering about it that night.
Friday, August 13, 2004
A Fifth Bout Of Randomness
For today's treat to beat the dreariness of the weather, I concocted an after-lunch dessert of fresh strawberries topped with Cool-Whip and then drizzled with honey. Talk about rotting your teeth! But for the ten minutes or so that I was eating that and making my blog-reading rounds, it SOOOOOO took my mind off the grey weather outside.
...
I have this CD in my possession that has quickly become my favourite CD in the short time that I have had it. Technically, I don't even have it (long story). But it follows me everywhere I go--to the car, on the TTC rides to and from work, in various stereo systems around my house--everywhere. The only times I'm separated from it is when my brother steals it from me as it just as quickly became his favourite CD too. I'd share the title with you, but it doesn't have one. It's not quite a mixed CD either, because most of the tracks are from one single artist and the rest are just fillers. Curious? Need to know more? Well, if you MUST do your homework, I got the CD from Squiggly who got it from Boo. I've already said too much. But thanks, Boo.
...
Dibert comics hold a witty response to everything. Just ask Brodder--he got a Dilbert compilation for his birthday, and he can find a comic to say something about anything. Scott Adams is brilliant. I'm sure at least Boobin would have to agree.
...
I just recently filled a new prescription for my glasses and contacts. My prescription jumped about 150 degrees per eye in the past two years so my optometrist lightened the degree by a bit so that I wouldn't have such a hard time adjusting. Oh man. If she made it easy for me, then I'd be terrified to know what having a hard time would've been like. The first day I put on my new glasses, I thought that the optical place had filled the wrong prescription--everything looked so...wonky. I had trouble coming down the stairs for at least the first 4 days since the edges of my glasses make everything look a little curved and I kept seeing 2 stairs at the bottom rather than one. Dangerous I tell you. On the bright side though, I can see now! I may not be able to walk straight, but I can see!
...
Guys need to grow up and be men. If a girl breaks up with you, get over it and move on. Don't take it out on the next guy, whoever he is or whenever he comes into the picture--the ultimate decision was hers, not his. If you have beef, take it out with her and leave the other guy out of it. Most of the time, the next guy didn't want to step on your toes in the least anyway. If you think she was the one, then fight FOR her, not with her new guy. Really, do you think kicking the crap out of the next guy is going to make you look good to her? It might make you look psychotic, but it ain't going to make you look good. Guys, be men about it, okay?
...
"I'm hungry,"
"So what do you want to eat?"
"Diarrhea food."
...
Two and a half more weeks until I leave for Boston, which means only really half a week for me to decide whether or not I want to keep my current job as a waitress through the school year. I'd love to find a new job, but do I really have the luxury of leaving this job first before finding the next? Anyone have a job they want to give me AND pay me well for doing it?
...
I miss my red hair. I used to be cool.
...
This entry was so boring. I'm sorry for letting down those who were looking for a good read. Maybe next time.
For today's treat to beat the dreariness of the weather, I concocted an after-lunch dessert of fresh strawberries topped with Cool-Whip and then drizzled with honey. Talk about rotting your teeth! But for the ten minutes or so that I was eating that and making my blog-reading rounds, it SOOOOOO took my mind off the grey weather outside.
...
I have this CD in my possession that has quickly become my favourite CD in the short time that I have had it. Technically, I don't even have it (long story). But it follows me everywhere I go--to the car, on the TTC rides to and from work, in various stereo systems around my house--everywhere. The only times I'm separated from it is when my brother steals it from me as it just as quickly became his favourite CD too. I'd share the title with you, but it doesn't have one. It's not quite a mixed CD either, because most of the tracks are from one single artist and the rest are just fillers. Curious? Need to know more? Well, if you MUST do your homework, I got the CD from Squiggly who got it from Boo. I've already said too much. But thanks, Boo.
...
Dibert comics hold a witty response to everything. Just ask Brodder--he got a Dilbert compilation for his birthday, and he can find a comic to say something about anything. Scott Adams is brilliant. I'm sure at least Boobin would have to agree.
...
I just recently filled a new prescription for my glasses and contacts. My prescription jumped about 150 degrees per eye in the past two years so my optometrist lightened the degree by a bit so that I wouldn't have such a hard time adjusting. Oh man. If she made it easy for me, then I'd be terrified to know what having a hard time would've been like. The first day I put on my new glasses, I thought that the optical place had filled the wrong prescription--everything looked so...wonky. I had trouble coming down the stairs for at least the first 4 days since the edges of my glasses make everything look a little curved and I kept seeing 2 stairs at the bottom rather than one. Dangerous I tell you. On the bright side though, I can see now! I may not be able to walk straight, but I can see!
...
Guys need to grow up and be men. If a girl breaks up with you, get over it and move on. Don't take it out on the next guy, whoever he is or whenever he comes into the picture--the ultimate decision was hers, not his. If you have beef, take it out with her and leave the other guy out of it. Most of the time, the next guy didn't want to step on your toes in the least anyway. If you think she was the one, then fight FOR her, not with her new guy. Really, do you think kicking the crap out of the next guy is going to make you look good to her? It might make you look psychotic, but it ain't going to make you look good. Guys, be men about it, okay?
...
"I'm hungry,"
"So what do you want to eat?"
"Diarrhea food."
...
Two and a half more weeks until I leave for Boston, which means only really half a week for me to decide whether or not I want to keep my current job as a waitress through the school year. I'd love to find a new job, but do I really have the luxury of leaving this job first before finding the next? Anyone have a job they want to give me AND pay me well for doing it?
...
I miss my red hair. I used to be cool.
...
This entry was so boring. I'm sorry for letting down those who were looking for a good read. Maybe next time.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Friday, August 06, 2004
With Style
Brodder went to try out a new hairstylist today for a new cut and colour and he insisted that I accompany him. His appointment was at 4pm. Easy enough; I didn't have to leave for volleyball until 6pm, and I already had all my gear with me. And, as a backup in case Brodder's colouring took longer than I had, Shmelly was going to meet me there at the salon so that I could leave Brodder the van and Shmelly could drive me to volleyball in his Bucket truck. I was all prepared. So as it turned out, Brodder's styling session took exactly until 6pm and since Shmelly was there, I left Brodder the van anyway and headed off for the courts--not before checking out the new 'do of course (lookin' good).
Brodder got to the van first and was already heading out of the parking lot by the time Shmelly and I got to our ride. Just as I was about to be helped into my side of the Bucket, we paused as we heard a strangely loud *hisssssssssssss* and we turned just in time to see the van hop down from a curb to avoid a crazy Chinese road-hog. Not sure what or where the *hissssssssssssss* had come from, we set out for volleyball anyway, figuring that if it had been anything relevant to us, we would have known about it by then.
Two seconds later and not even out of the parking lot, we knew about it. My cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Uh, come rescue me, I have a flat tire."
*sigh* "We're on our way."
And so, Shmelly turned that Bucket right around and we found Brodder, just outside the parking lot, luckily in the right lane and far enough away from the intersection so as not to impede traffic. As quickly and smoothly as a trained pit crew, Shmelly and I set to work as Brodder stood by and watched. Shmelly went out and set up pylons behind the Bucket and van to direct traffic around us (thank goodness for that Bucket!) while I searched out and found the van's jack and tool set. Shmelly flipped up the bottom of the trunk in order to unscrew the spare tire while I readied the jack and handed him the tire iron.
That's when we realized that we had a problem: the tire iron in the tool kit was WAY too small for the bolts.
To make a LONG story short--and trust me, it is LONG--it wasn't until 6 tire irons, 4 cars, and 2 hours later that we FINALLY got that tire changed.
Tire Iron 1 - the one from the van.
Tire Iron 2 - the one from the Bucket.
Tire Iron 3 - the one from the hair stylist.
Tire Iron 4 - the one from our friend.
Tire Iron 5 - the one from Brodder's friend.
Tire Iron 6 - the one from our friend's dad's socket set.
Car 1 - Shmelly's Bucket.
Car 2 - our friend's van.
Car 3 - our friend's dad's car.
Car 4 - Dad's car.
To sum it all up in a few lines...
As Shmelly left to get to volleyball first:
"Just leave the pylons as far back as they are. Some people are REALLY ignorant drivers and still tend to miss them. Just remember, if you hear *thump thump thump*, jump to the right."
As we tried tire iron after tire iron:
"ARGH!!! What kind of car comes with a tire iron that doesn't fit?!"
As our friend's dad was trying to loosen all of the rusted on bolts:
"Grrrr...Jumpin' Jehosephat these things are tough!"
"Hey, that's the second time he's said that--we should keep count,"
"Trust me, if you kids weren't here, that wouldn't be all I'd be sayin'."
And just as we thought Brodder was losing hope:
"Well, at least my hair looks good."
What a day.
Brodder went to try out a new hairstylist today for a new cut and colour and he insisted that I accompany him. His appointment was at 4pm. Easy enough; I didn't have to leave for volleyball until 6pm, and I already had all my gear with me. And, as a backup in case Brodder's colouring took longer than I had, Shmelly was going to meet me there at the salon so that I could leave Brodder the van and Shmelly could drive me to volleyball in his Bucket truck. I was all prepared. So as it turned out, Brodder's styling session took exactly until 6pm and since Shmelly was there, I left Brodder the van anyway and headed off for the courts--not before checking out the new 'do of course (lookin' good).
Brodder got to the van first and was already heading out of the parking lot by the time Shmelly and I got to our ride. Just as I was about to be helped into my side of the Bucket, we paused as we heard a strangely loud *hisssssssssssss* and we turned just in time to see the van hop down from a curb to avoid a crazy Chinese road-hog. Not sure what or where the *hissssssssssssss* had come from, we set out for volleyball anyway, figuring that if it had been anything relevant to us, we would have known about it by then.
Two seconds later and not even out of the parking lot, we knew about it. My cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Uh, come rescue me, I have a flat tire."
*sigh* "We're on our way."
And so, Shmelly turned that Bucket right around and we found Brodder, just outside the parking lot, luckily in the right lane and far enough away from the intersection so as not to impede traffic. As quickly and smoothly as a trained pit crew, Shmelly and I set to work as Brodder stood by and watched. Shmelly went out and set up pylons behind the Bucket and van to direct traffic around us (thank goodness for that Bucket!) while I searched out and found the van's jack and tool set. Shmelly flipped up the bottom of the trunk in order to unscrew the spare tire while I readied the jack and handed him the tire iron.
That's when we realized that we had a problem: the tire iron in the tool kit was WAY too small for the bolts.
To make a LONG story short--and trust me, it is LONG--it wasn't until 6 tire irons, 4 cars, and 2 hours later that we FINALLY got that tire changed.
Tire Iron 1 - the one from the van.
Tire Iron 2 - the one from the Bucket.
Tire Iron 3 - the one from the hair stylist.
Tire Iron 4 - the one from our friend.
Tire Iron 5 - the one from Brodder's friend.
Tire Iron 6 - the one from our friend's dad's socket set.
Car 1 - Shmelly's Bucket.
Car 2 - our friend's van.
Car 3 - our friend's dad's car.
Car 4 - Dad's car.
To sum it all up in a few lines...
As Shmelly left to get to volleyball first:
"Just leave the pylons as far back as they are. Some people are REALLY ignorant drivers and still tend to miss them. Just remember, if you hear *thump thump thump*, jump to the right."
As we tried tire iron after tire iron:
"ARGH!!! What kind of car comes with a tire iron that doesn't fit?!"
As our friend's dad was trying to loosen all of the rusted on bolts:
"Grrrr...Jumpin' Jehosephat these things are tough!"
"Hey, that's the second time he's said that--we should keep count,"
"Trust me, if you kids weren't here, that wouldn't be all I'd be sayin'."
And just as we thought Brodder was losing hope:
"Well, at least my hair looks good."
What a day.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
A Glimpse Into The Life
Though it was cold out for a summer day, the sun was shining and so I went around the house opening all of the blinds before sitting down in the kitchen where the sun was freely streaming in. I heard my brother's door creak open at the top of the stairs.
"Is anyone else in the house?"
"No, just me,"
"Okay,"
And with that, he thumped down the stairs in his usual way, dressed only in his boxers, past all of the open drapes and blinds, headed for the laundry room in the basement. I didn't even glance up as I finished clipping my last toenail by the bright kitchen window before I picked my pants up off the floor and pulled them back on. My house is a free and unashamed house to live in, if nothing else.
Though it was cold out for a summer day, the sun was shining and so I went around the house opening all of the blinds before sitting down in the kitchen where the sun was freely streaming in. I heard my brother's door creak open at the top of the stairs.
"Is anyone else in the house?"
"No, just me,"
"Okay,"
And with that, he thumped down the stairs in his usual way, dressed only in his boxers, past all of the open drapes and blinds, headed for the laundry room in the basement. I didn't even glance up as I finished clipping my last toenail by the bright kitchen window before I picked my pants up off the floor and pulled them back on. My house is a free and unashamed house to live in, if nothing else.
Rewind
I found this in my journal:
I found this in my journal:
I knew what was happening [in my dream] shouldn't have been happening and so time began to undo itself right before my dreamy eyes. If only reality was like that. Oh the things I would undo. I would learn patience and I would actually know love. I would unbreak hearts and allow my own to mend. I would hold onto my dreams and feed my motivation. I would learn from my mistakes. I would stand up for myself and be more compassionate to others. I would fight for what I know to be right and point out what I know was wrong. I don't regret anything, but that doesn't mean I would try it again.After reading this to myself again tonight, I thought to myself: why wait? I don't have to rewind as long as I start now. The way we should all be. Time waits for no one, so why should we?
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Song of the Moment: "I Want To Spend My Lifetime Loving You" - Marc Anthony & Tina Arena
Moon so bright, night so fine
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming
Race the moon, catch the wind
Ride the night to the end
Seize the day, stand up for the light
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
Heroes rise, heroes fall
Rise again, win it all
In your heart, can't you feel the glory?
Through our joy, through our pain
We can move worlds again
Take my hand, dance with me
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you
Though we know we will never come again
Where there is love, life begins
Over and over again
Save the night, save the day
Save the love, come what may
Love is worth everything we pay
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you
...
The last (and actually, the first) time I was at a Karaoke lounge, I was told I was going to have to learn a song to sing--in a duet. Well, this is the song I would sing in that duet; I hope to make Wendikiss proud.
Moon so bright, night so fine
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming
Race the moon, catch the wind
Ride the night to the end
Seize the day, stand up for the light
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
Heroes rise, heroes fall
Rise again, win it all
In your heart, can't you feel the glory?
Through our joy, through our pain
We can move worlds again
Take my hand, dance with me
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you
Though we know we will never come again
Where there is love, life begins
Over and over again
Save the night, save the day
Save the love, come what may
Love is worth everything we pay
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you
...
The last (and actually, the first) time I was at a Karaoke lounge, I was told I was going to have to learn a song to sing--in a duet. Well, this is the song I would sing in that duet; I hope to make Wendikiss proud.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
The Non-Cuddle Cuddle
(I think I'm on one of the slowest, most aged computers to still exist on the planet...)
The Non-Cuddle Cuddle, as addressed by Boo in a recent comment, is--like the Non-Fling Fling--exactly as it sounds: a cuddle that is not quite a cuddle. This happens when a couple is lying down facing each other, but not entangled in each other's arms. One of the two may have an arm casually strewn across the waist of the other, but this is not necessarily the case. Anyway, there the couple lie, mere inches between them, sharing body heat and personal space. The closeness allows them to feel intimate with each other, yet the small space allows for them to quietly admire what they are each lucky enough to have in front of them. The Non-Cuddle Cuddle is often viewed to be more intimate and personal than any regular cuddle or spooning session.
...
In other news...I already miss Boo. Come back, Boo!
(I think I'm on one of the slowest, most aged computers to still exist on the planet...)
The Non-Cuddle Cuddle, as addressed by Boo in a recent comment, is--like the Non-Fling Fling--exactly as it sounds: a cuddle that is not quite a cuddle. This happens when a couple is lying down facing each other, but not entangled in each other's arms. One of the two may have an arm casually strewn across the waist of the other, but this is not necessarily the case. Anyway, there the couple lie, mere inches between them, sharing body heat and personal space. The closeness allows them to feel intimate with each other, yet the small space allows for them to quietly admire what they are each lucky enough to have in front of them. The Non-Cuddle Cuddle is often viewed to be more intimate and personal than any regular cuddle or spooning session.
...
In other news...I already miss Boo. Come back, Boo!
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Quotes of the Moment:
"We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken us a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are truly comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox."
"[...] I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered."
--The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks
...
According to the first quote, Squiggly and I have been old for a long time already. There isn't anything in the world that could replace the silences with him on sunny Sunday afternoons. Sometimes I'll search out the presense of someone else, just so that I can share my quiet comtemplations with him or her, without ever really having to say anything. Everyone should be able to know the contentment of a comfortable silence.
Everyone should also know how to look at things through the eyes of a child. It's something we actually all know how to do, it's just that we forget to do it so easily. As adults--young or old--we are too quick to temper and too eager to judge, when really we should just be able to trust in the world around us. Not everything in the world today is out to cause us harm or pain or suffering, but sometimes--and a little too often--we seem to forget.
"We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken us a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are truly comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox."
"[...] I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered."
--The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks
...
According to the first quote, Squiggly and I have been old for a long time already. There isn't anything in the world that could replace the silences with him on sunny Sunday afternoons. Sometimes I'll search out the presense of someone else, just so that I can share my quiet comtemplations with him or her, without ever really having to say anything. Everyone should be able to know the contentment of a comfortable silence.
Everyone should also know how to look at things through the eyes of a child. It's something we actually all know how to do, it's just that we forget to do it so easily. As adults--young or old--we are too quick to temper and too eager to judge, when really we should just be able to trust in the world around us. Not everything in the world today is out to cause us harm or pain or suffering, but sometimes--and a little too often--we seem to forget.
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