Nailing it

It's a North American stereotype that nail salons are staffed by Asian manicurists/pedicurists, typically Korean or Vietnamese - and stereotype or not, they're good at what they do.  With Vietnam on our itinerary, you can bet your ass I was going to get a mani/pedi straight from the source.

Now, for the uninitiated, North American standards for nail salons are as follows:

Hygiene:
NA is HUGE on this.  All instruments involved in the process are sterilized before each use, if they're not brand new to begin with.  Surfaces and sinks are disinfected between each client's use.  Floors are constantly being swept and towels come freshly bleached and laundered from an unending supply as is mandatory.

The process:
Now, while this varies from salon to salon or spa to spa, the typical procedure usually begins with the hands/feet being soaked in tubs of warm water for some time.  Then the hands/feet are washed and a quick application of moisturizer ensues which sometimes includes a hand/foot massage.  Nails are clipped and shaped, dead skin/cuticles are removed, and polish is applied.  You'd then go and sit for ten minutes with your nails under a dryer and voilà - there is your typical mani/pedi.

Needing a bit of de-stressing in Ho Chi Minh City, I figured a pedicure would not only be a perfect option, but it was my chance to put the Asian mani/pedi talent/stereotype to the test.  While I left my selected salon with perfectly soft feet and prettily polished toes, it was a tale to tell in itself.

After pointing assertively at my choice of JUST a pedicure on their menu of services, I was directed to my seat in a row of other in-progress pedicure clients.  It wasn't the giant massage chair with an attached foot spa in front, but it wasn't NA afterall - it was a back alley in HCMC.  A moment later, my soaker tub appeared; it was a stainless steel mixing bowl (like the ones I use for making salads in), filled with lukewarm water.  Okay, fine - hot water seemed to come at a premium in South East Asia, and what's a container?  Mom soaked dad's feet in a plastic bucket at home - why judge?

When I'd been thoroughly soaked, my pedicurist came by and dried my feet with a towel that she tossed on the floor after.  She started looking for something, and after not finding it, she picked up that same towel again and spread it over her lap to begin on my nails - I gathered she'd been looking for a new towel, but not finding one, just re-used my original one.  Okay, fine - five second rule, right?

Feet dry and perched on the slightly used towel on her lap, it was time to get my nails clipped.  But we didn't start right away - we were waiting for something.  After watching my girl wait a while, chatting with her other salonist friends, it became apparent what we were waiting for.  We were waiting for her friend two seats down to finish with the one set of nail clippers on another client before they could be slide down across the floor to be passed to my pedicurist to be used immediately on me, as was their process with the cuticle trimmers, nail files, heel files, and skin scrapers (which cost me extra, btw).  Oooooookay, fine - it's not like I sterilize my stuff at home and I share it all with Malcolm or family anyway...

An (embarrassingly long) hour later, my feet were clean, my toenails clipped, and my heels were smooth again - after some extensive travelling in the wrong flipflops, I'd acquired myself some epically dirty, scaly, and cracked heels - it was gross.  Then it was time for my foot massage.  While the woman went at it vigorously enough, the only thing I could think of was how when she went to massage my calves, she rested my feet right up against her boobs - sometimes inadvertently (I hope) manoeuvring a toe inside her shirt as she massaged - as she rubbed me, I was rubbing her...I was mortified, while she didn't even seem to notice.

Polish (their home brand was no OPI by far) and I was finally good to go.  Well, after she personally sat and fanned my nails dry in lieu of any electric dryers.

The prices?
50,000 VND for the pedicure (nail clipping)
50,000 VND for the heel scraping
20,000 for painting my nails
for a whopping total of 120,000 VND.

As I originally walked in for the 50,000 pedicure which turned out to not include all that I expected from a pedicure at home, I was ready to squawk.  But then the conversion of VND to CAD in my head convinced me otherwise and I tipped my girl generously (I'd thought my feet would never be smooth again) and left.

For what I'd usually pay $35 for at home, I'd just paid $6.  Sure I had to give up a few things (massage chair, hot water, sterilized/new equipment, all inclusive pricing, un-molesting massages, quality nail polish, electric dryers), but for $6, it was pretty damned worth it.