Language break

Alright, I just finished a load of filing...something that I've been avoiding for MONTHS. So much so that I had to hire Hand-Me-Downs for 2 days to try to make a dent. :( However, having HMD around the office for 2 days, then having good wine again with her over the holidays was really something special. It's like we bonded.

But she still didn't get me anything for Christmas.

Then again, I hadn't paid her yet for helping me at the office. Even.
...

I wish I could take a screen shot of my BB. My WeatherEye app is telling me it's raining triangles of glass. Watch out.
...

Mom, in the presence of our cousin's 1 and 4 year old kids, after dropping the cordless phone in a sink full of water:

    "Shit!"
    "Goo-goo! Watch your language!"
    "Well what the heck would YOU say?"
    "'Oopsie-daisy!'"

No you wouldn't. No one would say that.

And then, like mother, like daughter. Doing some Christmas shopping at Chapters with Crazy Malcolm, I came across a hardcover copy of Dr. Seuss's The Grinch who Stole Christmas. I immediately wanted it for my new found little love and flipped it over to see the more-than-I-expected (but totally-worth-it) price.

    "Fuckers!"

Seeing as the book I was exclaiming over was a children's book, that put me in the children's section. Surrounded by...children. Malcolm elbowed me hard and gave me the "watch what you're saying--there are children around here" look. I sheepishly hid behind the book cover and mumbled the correction to myself.

    "I mean, fudgesicles."

BCE [Best Christmas Ever] - The Highlight Reel

(This day is going by RIDICULOUSLY slowly, so it feels like I have time to blog. Logically though, I know that it only feels that way.)

- GMa insisted we all play Wii Fit--she started us off with 19 points in the Soccer-Ball-heading-game. I stepped up to the plate and scored a whopping 441 points. While I was still in the victorious throes of my I-am-Awesome dance, quiet, Double-Jointed cousin stepped up and scored A PERFECT GAME of 500 points. She stepped off humbly and simply shrugged her shoulders: "Oops."

- I got Raptors tickets (yes, this is an awesome highlight in itself).

- Crazy and I booked a weekend stay at the Zambri Resort and were permitted to bring Moo with us. He was more popular than we were all holiday. Even those who weren't supposed to love him, did. Cousin DJ grabbed him up and hugged him--though she could break out in serious hives. MBA picked Moo up the instant he stepped in and proceeded to block all of his breathing passageways by rubbing him all over himself. Moo was semi-thrilled in the way that cats always are. When he tired of his own popularity, he slept out of reach either on top of the China hutch, or tucked into the duct system in our basement ceiling.

- Food.

- Good wine. I picked one--Sibling Rivalry--based purely on name alone. It was yum. Brodder's glowing-red face was proof enough of that fact.

- FamJam at the ROM day. Crazy arranged for the fam to have breakfast, see the Terracotta Warriors exhibit at the ROM, and then have sushi lunch all downtown on the 27th. It was so awesome that the four of my family passed out (probably mouths open) in the car on the way home while Crazy dutifully didn't laugh and drove us all back to the Resort.

Fudge, I feel like there was so much more, but 5 minutes have now elapsed and I feel as though I should get back to work...perhaps more later. Hopefully before the new year.

I don't wanna work...

He - "Going into the wash - whites and lights. Up next, tire size."
Me - "You're the best! I'm missing all this porno at home!"
...


...

And yesterday he was vacuuming and mopping. AND he fixed the central-vac outlet that I'd broken! <3
...

Update - 12:49pm

He - "Kitchen porn just happened."
Me - "Dammit! I'm missing EVERYTHING!"

Defining myself

A friend of mine described a recent pub crawl as being ependary. It took me a while to get that one. After comprehension set in, I decided it wasn't a good word. If I'd put the words together, I'd have come up with "legendic." So there.

Drinking over the holidays this year is going to be legendic.

It will be. And people WILL get Simmy'ed. Oh will they get Simmy'ed.