"I'm just casually retarded today."
There's a lawyer on the phone that makes a gazillion dollars a minute and he's said all of 10 words over the past hour. No wonder lawyers are so rich.
LESSON: use any ambiguity to your advantage.
The phrase is "nip it in the bud," not "butt." If you want an adage about your butt, talk about something biting you in the ass.
The accountant keeps leaving for glasses of water. He's left a dozen times (while the lawyer hangs in on the phone). You'd think he'd fill the damn glass instead of returning with half empty glasses of water.
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