As I may have mentioned a few posts back, we did a manditory "colours test" at work a while ago. After discussing several images, rating some statements, and then answering a few questions, it was calculated that I was exactly split down the middle between two dominant colours of personality; blue and gold (and as an interesting aside: I was also exactly split between my secondary colours, green and orange). Blue was indicative of my touchy-feely (the presenter's words, not mine), personal, emotional side. Gold was my side that was organized and functional, responsible, effective and efficient (green was my brainful logic, orange, my spontaneously outgoingness). Tonight is a perfect example of my two sides existing simultaneously, though not necessarily harmoniously.
My gold side is telling me to get things done as soon as possible--why postpone something that really only takes a moment to do? But then my blue side is telling me that it's an emotional overload and that I should really just take time for myself--when it comes down to it, I have to take care of myself first and foremost. For other things it's my blue side telling me that I should be more considerate of other people and their feelings, and my gold side is telling me that somethings are so logical that I shouldn't need to spend time tending to such details.
I'm surprised that in my paradoxical simultaneous co-existence, my brain hasn't yet just spontaneously combusted.
...
"Hello" - Evanescence
Playground school bell rings again
Rainclouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing hello
I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to hello
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken hello
I'm the lie living for so you can hide don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping hello
I'm still here all that's left of yesterday
...
Songs like those make my fingers ache for a piano.
2 comments:
I can't know what it is that you've got to do that you're putting off, but it's been my experience that if it's the right thing to do you just know. Look deep into yourself and it's there waiting for you. If you have to think too much or convince yourself, it's usually not for the best.
That's my two cents.
mel,
we both know that u know what you need to do. despite what two cents (sorry two cents) said, i don't necessarily agree. i know you're not trying to convince yourself more than you're just putting off the inevitable. forget trying to avoid hurting people's feelings here. it needs to be done, and i know you know that. just get 'er done. and if all else fails, you can always have her join you at the sports bar...LOL.
hope that didn't make you feel too uncomfortable.
haha. goddamn. goodtimes.
- dimps.
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