The Awkward Moment

The other night, coming out of Jack Astor's with Squiggly, we were heading towards the car when our path crossed with those of two guys heading into the restaurant. I didn't think much of the others until I heard an exchange pass between the asian one and Squiggly. I think the asian one started it.

    "Don't I know you guys?"
    "You look pretty familiar..."
    "I know I know you two from somewhere!"
    "Uh, aren't you C4?"
    "Yeah--how do I know you guys?"
    "Um, I'm Squiggly and that's melody,"
    "Where do I know you from?"
    "Oh, we're, uh, Boo's friends. You know us through Boo [the girl that was friends with you but who you were convinced you were dating in some special way but not in so many words until she started seeing some guy and you freaked out way out of line and now you guys can't talk because you're just so immature and can't get over your own issues]..."
    "Oh..."
    "Yeah..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "So, uh, I guess, bye, C4,"
    "Yeah, bye."

Squiggly and I walked to the car in silence as C4 walked away from us with his friend in much the same way. Once in the car with the doors closed, Squiggly and I resumed conversation. I began by exhaling a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding.

    "Wow, C4."
    "Yeah, what were the chances?"
    "I dunno, but that was awkward."
    "Yeah, REALLY awkward..."
    "Huh."
    "I should've farted or something to have relieved some tension."

I died.

    "No, seriously, if I could have let one out, that would have distracted us from how awkward the moment was and it could have given us a way out."

I continued to shake the Earth with my laughter.

    "If only I could have! 'Oh, right, you're Boo's ex-friend...ppppffffffffffttt! Oops! Gotta go!"

Tears streamed down my face. I managed to gasp out a line to Squiggly.

    "No! Not 'I gotta go,' just a dorky, pervy laugh and an exit! More like a 'ppppppffffffffffffffttt...heh heh heh' and then turn around and leave!"
    "You mean like: 'Oh, right, you're C4--Boo's friend......"ppppffffffffttt heh heh heh.'"

I gasped for air and forgot to put the car in gear before hitting the gas--I missed the advanced green.

"Damn, I really wish I could've farted."
...

True story. I swear.