Boomshakalak

Inebriation, no matter how mild, is awesome when it takes place before two in the afternoon. Cheers to the Megatouch Champs!

Spanked by a sucker

The other day at work there was this cute little baby boy who was making a game out of chewing on his belongings and then throwing them on the floow as I walked by in order to get my attention and to get me to pick his stuff up for him. Of the things that he threw down, a wooden spoon caught my eye. I noticed it because it wasn't one of the toys that he'd started with, rather, his mother had produced it from her purse; presumably carrying it for him to chew on while teething. After noticing this, I walked over to the bar to talk to Monkey-Arm-Man.

    "Huh--that mom carries a wooden spoon in her purse for her kid to chew on."
    "Yeah, so?"
    "So, when my mother carried a wooden spoon in her purse it was to beat me with whenever I was disbehaving." MAM snickered. I continued. "No, seriously, my brother and I feared that thing. I sounds ridiculous now though, especially since it wasn't exactly a common form of corporal punishment. 'Do you want the spoon?!'"
    "My parents went the common way--I got the belt. That way, they always had it with them, and they wouldn't need to use words to threaten me to behave--they'd just start undoing the belt. The clinking sound of the buckle was enough to get us to behave."
    We both had a good yuk over these revelations, especially as MAM acted out the undoing of his belt in his usual comic way. We thought of all the other things that we'd also been threatened with: the bare hand, the 2x4, the classic switch, the baseball bat. At that point, we turned to Gypsy who'd been eavesdropping on our conversation as he worked.
    "What was the best thing you were beaten with as a kid?"
    "A live octopus."
What a winner.
...

And apparently this was all true. While living down where it was tropical, Gypsy's dad had been releasing an octopus into the water when Gypsy decided to say something smart. Smart enough to cause his dad to wheel around and smack him three solid times with that live octopus.

"Wasn't so live afterwards, was it?"

What killed me further was when MAM when on to ad-lib.

"Hey, where'd you get all those hickeys from?" *thwap* *pock pock pock pock pock* *thwap* *pock pock pock pock pock* *thwap* *pock pock pock pock pock*

Alright, it was funnier if you were there, but still, you can't beat that.

Lay back in Bedlam

Song of the Moment: "Lay Lady Lay" - Magnet feat. Gemma Hayes

Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed.
Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed.

Whatever colors you have in your mind.
I'll show them to you and you'll see them shine.

Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed.
Stay lady stay, stay with your man awhile.
Until the break of day, let me see you make 'em smile.

Your clothes are dirty but your hands are clean.
And I'm the best thing that you've ever seen.
(Stay lady stay, stay with your man awhile.)
Why wait any longer for the world to begin?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
(Why wait any longer for the one you love?
I am standin' in front of you.)

Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed.
Stay lady stay, stay with your man awhile.

You long to see me in the morning light.
You long to reach for me in the night.
(Stay lady stay, stay while the night is still ahead.)
So maybe I'll stay, stay while the night is still ahead.
(Stay lady stay, stay while the night is still ahead.)
So maybe I'll stay,
Stay while the night is still ahead.
...

This song was originally by Bob Dylan (what song wasn't?) but was redone for the movie, Mr. & Mrs. Smith. It plays after the big fight scene between Angelina and Brad as they rummage through the wreckage of their kitchen for a little something to eat for breakfast, all the while falling more and more in love with each other again. Love it. Too bad it wasn't socially affordable to blow one's home to bits in order to rekindle a dying relationship--I think people would be doing it all the time if it was a sure fixer. Hey, The Family Guy had the Griffins beat the crap out of each other before they finally got all their anger out of their systems. Love it. If only...

Along with the Mr. & Mrs. Smith soundtrack, I've also become hooked on the album Back to Bedlam by James Blunt. (Bonus points for knowing what/where Bedlam is.) I would have listed some lyrics from him, but there's no way I would have been able to pick just one song--the album's looped on both Winamp and my iPod nano. Both the soundtrack and Back to Bedlam make for great walking-in-the-midst-of-downtown music. You can guess what I did today after work. Shopping, walking, and rawking. Life doesn't get much better. :)

Tick...tick...tick

I am too young to be kept waiting.

We Never Change

I want to live life, and never be cruel
I want to live life, and be good to you
I want to fly, and never come down
And live my life, and have friends around
    --Coldplay, "We Never Change"

A simple enough credo, yet surprisingly or not, it's hard to live by sometimes.

Sometimes you can't help but be cruel. Most of the times you are cruel, you don't mean to be, but once in a while, the situation dictates that you have to be--eat or be eaten, as they say.

Sometimes you can't be good to another. Due to a bad mood, a difficult scenario, or perhaps a wrong done to you, you just can't be good to a certain person and you can't help it. You do have to look out for yourself, first and foremost in life, right?

If one day I could fly, no, I would never come down.

Sometimes you can't have friends around. Sure, your friends can't all be with you at all times of the day, but at some time you may find that it seems you'll have not a friend in the world. I could be that they dhave a family to look after, or a personal dream to follow, or maybe just an unexplained absense--there are a million reasons, but once in a while, there will be moments when your friends may not be around.

I've been having a few of those moments recently.
(I miss you guys horribly. Luhyoo, Nuff, 1334)

I want to live where the sun comes out.

What I learned in high school

After my mid-afternoon funk earlier today, I was rummaging through my room and came across my OAC Writer's Craft journal. Everyday the teacher (who was awesomely open-minded) would give us a topic to write freely about, hopefully inspiring the writer within. I don't think I need to share the topic of this journal-entry (truth be told I didn't write it down), but when I came across it, my jaw quickly dropped.

(Beware, this is fairly X-rated...)

Start with a kiss. But lick my lips first. Soft and warm, and as our kiss grows, kiss me harder, and deeper. Squeeze me and run your hands through my hair, over my back, down my body. Press me against a wall--press your body against mine so that I can feel all of you; make me lose my breath.

Run your hands over me and press my lips down with yours. Move your hips. Run your lips over my body and press my hands back with yours. Keep moving your hips. Kiss my skin inch my inch as you take my clothes off and there's more to kiss.

Use your hands to see me and your tongue to feel me. Let me feel that you need me as much as I need you. Without my clothes, I get cold...keep me warm...make me hot. I want to feel the cold wall on my back and the heat of you inside me.

Don't judge me too harshly--I was TOLD to write like this.

Limbo

I'm not a student, but I do not have a career. I work at my job 4, sometime 5 days a week, but I am not a full-time employee. I live at home, but I am too old to be seen as my parents' child anymore. I am a driver, but do not have my own car.

Serious relationship, but un-wed.
Volleyball 5 days a week, but non-professional.
Avid writer, but unpublished.
Sociable, but lonely.

I am in essentially in limbo. With no place to go and nothing to do, I am just sitting here, letting the time pass me by.
...

p.s. Dominican was grand--just not feeling it right now...