Etiquette down (in) the crapper

I had just gotten into the ladies' bathroom at work and had settled into my stall when I heard another woman barrel on in. I listened as she closed herself into the stall next to mine (even though there were 2 other farther stalls) and settled herself in as well. Now, I don't know about you, but it's awkward enough having to go do your business (#1 or #2) in a public place, but it's a whole other level of awkward added on top when you know you've got an audience listening in.

However, I shouldn't have felt too awkward after all because I was quite sure of myself that she wasn't listening in. How could I be so sure? Oh, because I heard her speed-dial (good ol' BlackBerry sounds) and strike up a conversation with her daughter.

The extra time I spent in my stall wasn't out of stage-fright or modesty, it was out of disbelief. Not only did this woman not have a problem with carrying on a catching-up-conversation with her daughter in a public bathroom, she was relaxed enough to go full steam ahead and take a massively loud dump--splash sounds and all.

    "Hello dear...aren't you going out to Brampton?...but I thought your friend was having a bbq?...*KA-SPLOOSH*...just working until 4 today...*KA-SPLOMB*...that's good...yeah..."

I was totally grossed out and high-tailed it out of there, trying to flush and wash my hands as loudly as I could in protest.

On another occasion, I heard a woman strike up a conversation with the occupant of a stall once she realized it was her co-worker. Awk-ward. How she figured it was her friend in there was beyond me, but I know I get a little flushed (pardon the pun) even when I just run into a co-worker during my enter/exit of the bathroom--how would I feel if someone FIGURED it was me doing my thing in there?

At first I thought I was being picky--I mean, what business of mine is it to be bothered about what people do while doing their business? But then I did a little research and found that it is my business to be bothered. This site let me know that it was not okay for the public bathroom to be used so publicly.

So sixth floor ladies, please keep your shitty conversations to yourself, and keep yourself out of my business, please!