Deadlier than the DeathStar

Despite having our share of naughty-and-need-to-be-disciplined moments, my brother and I were never (well, maybe once each) spanked as children. Instead, my mother had the most menacing I-mean-business-by-the-time-I-count-to-three threat, and, the ever dreaded DeathGrip.

Now, this DeathGrip is exactly as it sounds: a grip that could grip you to death. All mom would have to do is grab you by the wrist, and SQUEEZE and you HAD to surrender. It was certainly an effective tool in public since most people would only see a mother holding her child at the wrist, and this child being totally (albeit suddenly) obedient to her mother's wishes.

Having grown-up since those good ol' days of having to go do public errands with mom, and having learned right from wrong and all that, I haven't had many encounters with the DeathGrip recently.

Except this one time...

(I really could have sworn I'd written about this, but according to my blog-searches, I haven't.)

A few years back, my mom discovered this game that Brodder or I had downloaded to the computer: Bejeweled. She discovered, learned how to play it, and then never stopped playing. Not that we were dependent on our mother anymore by this point, but she stayed up late, she stopped cooking, cleaning, she came straight home from work to play, and she didn't go out to do things anymore.

Brodder and I would tease her and such about getting help for her addiction and we'd all laugh, but really, she would be on the computer for hours at a time, playing this simple little game.

Finally, we decided to play a prank on her. Brodder and I--in a fit of giggles--created a text document that said in huge letters: STOP PLAYING AND DO SOME WORK! We then changed the icon for the document to be the Bejeweled one, and placed it in the spot where her REAL Bejeweled icon would be on the desktop. Then we waited.

I was the only one home that day when she returned from work. She came home and went straight to the computer to double click her favourite icon, only to find the message we'd lent to her. She turned to me since I'd been lurking about to get my laugh on, and giggled a moment.

    "Ha ha ha, you guys are so funny. Where's my game?"
    "hahahahahahaha, but mom, you're supposed to do work instead!"
    "I will, after you put my game back."
    "No, mom, this is for your own good."
    "Put it back."
    "No, mom, Brodder and I...OW!!!"

She sicced the DeathGrip on my wrist. She squeezed.

    "Put. It. Back. Now."
    "OKAY!!!"

I was nearly on my knees she'd been squeezing so hard. I restored the original icon back to its place on her desktop, and she went ahead with her usual "play for hours" routine. When I told Brodder what had happened, he both laughed and sympathized with me.

Lesson: Don't mess with the DeathGrip.
...

Fun Fact: DeathGrip is mom's Mii name on the Wii.