Love/Hate

Talk about love and hate.

It's been 4 weeks away, 4 turkeys eaten, 3 weeks catered lunches, 3 hangovers, 2 weeks on lack of sleep, 1 hard core practice, and now it's back to volleyball.

My eyes have never been so happy to be in glasses instead of contacts.
My body has never been so angry with me; it aches to breathe.

My physical being is hating it.
My soul is lost in love.

Because it's volleyball...

Song of the Moment: "Bleeding Love" - Leona Lewis

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I...

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I...

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I...
...

Ok, I want to go home now!
Seriously. My brain’s already left the building.
My brain never showed up for work today.
LOL that explains a lot….hahahahaha
...

It's Friday and I'm having a love/hate relationship with that fact...that's not supposed to happen. If only it were tomorrow. Fast-forward

The Foregone Conclusion

7:00
Indian food.

"The poor boy doesn't stand a chance." Her words, not mine.

"I'll be driving the big work truck."
*sigh*
Where have I heard that one before? I thought we were done with the truck-truck...

I'm not being mean, am I? I've just got my eyes wide open and this is just too familiar a sight. What was once endearing is no longer; I've already grown up.

Err...

    "Maybe I won't go to practice because I cough a lot when I breathe heavy."
    "Err..."
    "Not that I've been breathing heavy for any reason lately!"
    "Uhh..."
    "I just know that I cough when I breathe heavy, and running makes me breathe heavy, and I know that they'll make me run at practice!"
    "...right. Nice save!"
    *eruption of laughter*

    *phone intercom beep*
    "What's so funny back there?!"
    "Nothing! Nothing to do with breathing heavy!!!"
    "Err...whatever."
    *click*

Her

    "So that's it."
    "Wow. I love going out with you--it's better than going out to watch movies. I'll call you."
    "You're not going to scold me?"
    "No."
    "No?"
    "If you needed scolding, I'd be the first one in line. You don't need it."
    "Are you sure?"
    "It's me."
    "I love you."
    "I know."

Random-u!

    "That would be so awesome to be able to say that; 'I'm Obama's mama.'"
    *laughs*
    "No really, let's take a moment to let that sink in; Obama's mama."

Refreshing

Tonight would have been a perfect night to runaway. The air was warm enough to not drive you inside; you could start a journey. The night was cool enough to feel crisp and fresh--to make you feel alive. The rain was falling just gently enough that you weren't drenched, but you felt like what worry you wanted gone was being washed away. A clean start. A deep sigh of relief. A moment of clarity. I didn't runaway, but I felt better.
...

There was a stranger in my car tonight. At least, it felt that way. There were so many words swimming around in the air between us tonight, but neither of us made an attempt to catch them to use them. It was probably for the better. If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. That's not exactly it, but it's pretty close. Isn't there such a thing as small talk anymore? If you're going to get personal, then at least try to know me before you judge me. I can't believe you still don't know me after all that time. There are some people who just know, and there are some who will never. I love those who do. I try to forgive those who won't but insist on trying beyond their reach.

I just know.