Song of the Moment: Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,we're slow dancing in a burning room.

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room.

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room,

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
...

Just making it through the day listening 8tracks and this song came on.  I don't think I've ever posted it, but I should have.  The live version is my favourite and it actually arrived in my personal library of music after someone put it there.  Whenever I hear it, I don't think about any relationship I've had, but I think of the ones that mystery media-er has had, and it's still beautiful.

A whale of words

Twitter's over capacity at the moment so I can't tweet.  It's not upsetting or anything, just inconvenient that it took so long for the twitter site to time out and tell me it was over capacity, leaving me to think there was something wrong with my internet connection in the meantime.

However, their "over capacity" page is kind of cute...

Old fashioned

Okay, so I knit.  And I crochet.  I enjoy it.  And who doesn't love a homemade gift from time to time?  I really have to make more of a habit of taking pictures of my completed projects (because I've never really kept anything that I've made), but I've made leg warmers, hand warmers, mitts, gloves, scarves, kitten mittens (those were funny) and more.

This Christmas, I probably outdid myself, but with the warm reception that my home crafted gifts were getting, I couldn't help it.  I even rushed and completed a knitted infinity scarf with matching finger-less mitts for one 6-year old that we were going to see after a long hiatus.  When I finished that set and took a step back, it hit me what I'd just done.

I'm about to give clothes as a gift to a kid.  Worse, I'm about to give knitted clothes as a gift to a kid.  What am I thinking?!

I remembered those young days when the uncoolest gifts you could get were those boxes full of clothing that you never wanted in the first place - where was the fun in clothes when you know toys could have fit in that same box?

In a panic, I raced through the house to find something to pump up the cool factor of the gift.  Something.  Anything.  But alas, my house was barren of coolness and the best I could do was a scented and flavoured lip gloss from Bath & Body Works that I used in place of a bow on the outside of the box.  Having done my best, off we went to present our presents.

We met our friends at a restaurant and I basked in the attentions of my most enjoyable 6-year old.  We had lunch, had conversations, had desserts, and then...it was time for the present.  Holding my breath, I handed it over to her and watched her glance at the lip gloss momentarily before putting it aside to tear into the brightly wrapped box.  Uh-oh, my cool was not cool enough.  And then she got to the guts of the present...

...and gleefully wrapped herself in the scarf and mitts and refused to take them off for the rest of the day.

I was speechless.  Not only did she know how to wear everything, but she LIKED them.  Her dad leaned over and explained to me,

   "She's a bit of a fashionista."

Indeed she is.

Back food

Okra was only introduced to my palate in perhaps the last 4 years of my life.  Malcolm ordered it from his favourite Malaysian restaurant and I've loved it since.  Loved it enough to attempt to reproduce the various recipes at home.

But that wasn't technically my first run-in with okra.  I of course knew that the vegetable existed, but learned more than I wanted to about it a long tie ago - back when I still worked at the restaurant, serving my way through university.

I can't for the life of me remember why the topic came up - favourite food discussion, perhaps - but it did and my male co-worker proceeded to go on and rave about just how much he loved it.

   "...and not only is it healthy for you as a vegetable, it's good back food."
   "Back food?"
   "Yeah, you know, back food - it's good for helping you to put your back into it."

...and with the thrusting motions that followed, I knew more about okra - and his personal regime - than I cared to.

But it still is really good.

Out of date

I just clicked on all of my side links to other writers/artists.  The latest post from any one of them was June of last year.  One last posted in 2010. It made me sad.  Then I stumbled on this and was assaulted by a stream of colours and images and I was lifted.  Thanks, Tobias.

Sometimes

Sometimes love is beautiful, warm and perfect...

...and sometimes you just want to punch it in the face.

An act of kindness

I was running to catch the train today - I was cutting really close.  As I ran, I saw a man sprint past me up the stairs.  I saw that man again when I reached the top of the stairs.  He was standing with one foot on the train, one foot still on the outer step, hanging out of the door and waving to the conductor to have him wait those last seconds for me.

As soon as I appeared on the platform, he disappeared, the conductor let me on the train, and the doors swooshed shut behind me.

Thank you, man on the stairs.

Song of the Moment: "Shake it out" - Florence and the Machine

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn
...

It's been a while and I feel it too.  I got a good chunk of writing out last night.  It just started and it kept pouring out until I was too tired to go on.  It felt good.  I missed it.  I confessed.  But I don't know when I'll get to share it.  But it was necessary. 

It was me.