Sunday, June 26, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Bombed
In editing a few pictures for some friends these past two nights, it dawned on me that I now have enough photoshop ability to photobomb.
So I did.
Beware the Lucha-bomber!
So I did.
Beware the Lucha-bomber!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Fog and mirrors
Having been having a tough week or so, I've been exhausted. Mentally and physically. It's been straining on every part of me, including my relationship. But after some warm words and straight talk last night, I was starting to feel better, even though I passed out fully clothed on top of the bed spread last night--on Malcolm's side of the bed, no less.
This morning I woke and unwillingly dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, trying to wash away the negativity I was already building up for the day. Stepping out of the shower, a message greeted me through the fog on the mirror. What I first mistook for a dirty fingerprint turned out to be a familiar touch and a much needed message.
"I ♥ U"
This morning I woke and unwillingly dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, trying to wash away the negativity I was already building up for the day. Stepping out of the shower, a message greeted me through the fog on the mirror. What I first mistook for a dirty fingerprint turned out to be a familiar touch and a much needed message.
"I ♥ U"
Friday, June 10, 2011
Hammertime
Dear Friends,
Thank you for being there when I need you most. For staying with me when I'm scared. For giving me logic when I can only be scatteredly irrational. For the calm when I'm the storm. For keeping me sane when I'm losing my shit. For making me laugh when I've been doing nothing but frowning. For understanding when I'm carrying a hammer around in the house, shower, and to bed with me because I just have to.
I heart you guys.
Thank you for being there when I need you most. For staying with me when I'm scared. For giving me logic when I can only be scatteredly irrational. For the calm when I'm the storm. For keeping me sane when I'm losing my shit. For making me laugh when I've been doing nothing but frowning. For understanding when I'm carrying a hammer around in the house, shower, and to bed with me because I just have to.
I heart you guys.
Thursday, June 09, 2011
A moment
Okay. Since yesterday and my stolen moments on Malcolm's laptop (which doesn't have a name yet...strange), I've regrouped and recentred. I'm back on top and I'm doing fine. I'm doing okay. Alright, whatever--but I'll be flying high after my date night with the Mister tomorrow. :)
What the hell has happened over the last month that I've been more than AWOL? Sheit, I don't even know where to begin anymore. But I can tell you that the whole time that it's been happening--that LIFE'S been happening--I've had a good many intents to tell you all about it. I've even written a lot of these moments down in my mind. To remind myself that it's actually happening. That my life is actually happening. That I'm living and not just dreaming.
Let's begin with a warm moment, shall we?
...
The Past
Popeye's chicken it was. I can't remember where we were going or what we were doing, but Malcolm and I were starving. An off-handed comment struck up visions of fried chicken and, not being able to shake the craving, we caved in to googling like mad on our smart phones to find the closest outlet to serve us pieces of poultry. Pulling up in front of the brightly fluorescent store, something struck me about the plaza. It wasn't until we'd ordered our food and made ourselves comfortable by the windows to wait for the friers to work their magic that I realized what it was.
"I think mom and dad mentioned that some old family friends own that sushi restaurant over in the corner."
"Oh yeah? Why don't go you in and check--I'll meet you over there when the food's ready."
"I think I will. See you in a second."
I headed off across the cool parking lot towards the restaurant. I was a little nervous--despite my outward nature, I always got a little out of character when meeting with people I didn't really know and didn't know how to interact with. Honestly, without someone to back me up with a proper introduction, I could be down right shy.
These family friends were actually friends of my parents from over 20 years ago. They'd gotten to know each other when my dad and Mr. Park used to work at the post office together and our families would get together quite often for dinner and social calls since they had 2 sons that were about the same age as Brodder and I.
But that was 20 years ago. I hadn't seen them for that long, and they hadn't seen me and who knew if they'd actually remember me. I could barely even remember Mr. or Mrs. Park's first names. But already more than halfway across the parking lot, I couldn't back down then. Besides, I'd recently secretly resolved to myself that I'd be more fearless and less shy and quit backing down from silly little interactions like this. What was the worst that could happen?
I took a deep breath and opened the door.
It was much darker inside the sushi restaurant than it had been at Popeye's--I was the only one inside. A wind chime hung on the door softly tinkled to let the proprietors know I'd entered. A voice with a soft Korean accent called from the kitchen.
"Hello?"
"Hello?" I answered with a question mark. I waited until someone came out to greet me before I continued. A petite woman came out from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. Her hair was greying and she seemed much shorter than I remembered, but I had probably grown a least a foot since I'd seen her last. But her kind eyes and welcoming smile were familiar enough.
"Mrs. Park? I don't know if you remember me, but I'm melody. Mother and Father's daughter?"
It didn't even take a split second for the realization of who I was to set in. The kind welcome on her face changed to one of elated disbelief. She took both of my hands in hers and held on tight as though I might have disappeared for another 20 years if she didn't.
"melody!" she exclaimed. She turned to the kitchen doorway and called to the back in Korean. "Appa! melody's here!"
Another figure emerged from the kitchen. Again, this figure was shorter than I remembered and his hair had gone grey too, but his eyes recognized mine in that same less-than-split-second of time.
"Hello, melody!" he greeted me. Mrs. Park let go of my hands only long enough to let Mr. Park take hold of my forearms in what wasn't quite an embrace, but what still brought me close. He squeezed my arms just as tightly as his wife had before him--I was warmed.
Comfortable now in their presense, my nervousness having melted away with the familiarity of their voices and the warmth of their welcome, I told them about how Malcolm and I had just been in the area and how I'd recalled mom and dad speaking about the restaurant and how I'd thought I'd just take a chance that it was them. I asked after them and their business, after their 2 sons, after their health. They told me all I asked and returned the questions; the whole time their eyes wandered over my face as though they were memorizing every detail for the next 2 decades, Mr. Park never letting his hold slip on me.
The time flew by and the realization that Malcolm was already waiting for me outside in the car caught me by surprise. I regrettably excused myself and unwillingly said my goodbyes. It was just as unwillingly that they let me go. I waved and sent farewells continuously as I backed out of the restaurant, holding on to their gazes for as long as I could.
Once more in the cool of the parking lot, and then the safety of the car, Malcolm asked me how it'd went.
"It was really, really nice."
"Good."
Very.
What the hell has happened over the last month that I've been more than AWOL? Sheit, I don't even know where to begin anymore. But I can tell you that the whole time that it's been happening--that LIFE'S been happening--I've had a good many intents to tell you all about it. I've even written a lot of these moments down in my mind. To remind myself that it's actually happening. That my life is actually happening. That I'm living and not just dreaming.
Let's begin with a warm moment, shall we?
...
The Past
Popeye's chicken it was. I can't remember where we were going or what we were doing, but Malcolm and I were starving. An off-handed comment struck up visions of fried chicken and, not being able to shake the craving, we caved in to googling like mad on our smart phones to find the closest outlet to serve us pieces of poultry. Pulling up in front of the brightly fluorescent store, something struck me about the plaza. It wasn't until we'd ordered our food and made ourselves comfortable by the windows to wait for the friers to work their magic that I realized what it was.
"I think mom and dad mentioned that some old family friends own that sushi restaurant over in the corner."
"Oh yeah? Why don't go you in and check--I'll meet you over there when the food's ready."
"I think I will. See you in a second."
I headed off across the cool parking lot towards the restaurant. I was a little nervous--despite my outward nature, I always got a little out of character when meeting with people I didn't really know and didn't know how to interact with. Honestly, without someone to back me up with a proper introduction, I could be down right shy.
These family friends were actually friends of my parents from over 20 years ago. They'd gotten to know each other when my dad and Mr. Park used to work at the post office together and our families would get together quite often for dinner and social calls since they had 2 sons that were about the same age as Brodder and I.
But that was 20 years ago. I hadn't seen them for that long, and they hadn't seen me and who knew if they'd actually remember me. I could barely even remember Mr. or Mrs. Park's first names. But already more than halfway across the parking lot, I couldn't back down then. Besides, I'd recently secretly resolved to myself that I'd be more fearless and less shy and quit backing down from silly little interactions like this. What was the worst that could happen?
I took a deep breath and opened the door.
It was much darker inside the sushi restaurant than it had been at Popeye's--I was the only one inside. A wind chime hung on the door softly tinkled to let the proprietors know I'd entered. A voice with a soft Korean accent called from the kitchen.
"Hello?"
"Hello?" I answered with a question mark. I waited until someone came out to greet me before I continued. A petite woman came out from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. Her hair was greying and she seemed much shorter than I remembered, but I had probably grown a least a foot since I'd seen her last. But her kind eyes and welcoming smile were familiar enough.
"Mrs. Park? I don't know if you remember me, but I'm melody. Mother and Father's daughter?"
It didn't even take a split second for the realization of who I was to set in. The kind welcome on her face changed to one of elated disbelief. She took both of my hands in hers and held on tight as though I might have disappeared for another 20 years if she didn't.
"melody!" she exclaimed. She turned to the kitchen doorway and called to the back in Korean. "Appa! melody's here!"
Another figure emerged from the kitchen. Again, this figure was shorter than I remembered and his hair had gone grey too, but his eyes recognized mine in that same less-than-split-second of time.
"Hello, melody!" he greeted me. Mrs. Park let go of my hands only long enough to let Mr. Park take hold of my forearms in what wasn't quite an embrace, but what still brought me close. He squeezed my arms just as tightly as his wife had before him--I was warmed.
Comfortable now in their presense, my nervousness having melted away with the familiarity of their voices and the warmth of their welcome, I told them about how Malcolm and I had just been in the area and how I'd recalled mom and dad speaking about the restaurant and how I'd thought I'd just take a chance that it was them. I asked after them and their business, after their 2 sons, after their health. They told me all I asked and returned the questions; the whole time their eyes wandered over my face as though they were memorizing every detail for the next 2 decades, Mr. Park never letting his hold slip on me.
The time flew by and the realization that Malcolm was already waiting for me outside in the car caught me by surprise. I regrettably excused myself and unwillingly said my goodbyes. It was just as unwillingly that they let me go. I waved and sent farewells continuously as I backed out of the restaurant, holding on to their gazes for as long as I could.
Once more in the cool of the parking lot, and then the safety of the car, Malcolm asked me how it'd went.
"It was really, really nice."
"Good."
Very.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Moving Pains
I can't find my journals, I can't find paper, and Chickie is STILL in repairs (why hasn't that guy emailed me back yet?). I'm suffocating from lack of creative outlet. I don't even have my music playlists anymore due to over-excited iPod synching. My point 'n' shoot camera viewer doesn't work (not that I actually know where it is anyway) and I just can't seem to get things done for me lately.
I need a vacation.
I need a vacation.
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