A random Monday memory

Years and year ago, my dad went away somewhere and brought back a big notebook for me. It was covered in Looney Tunes characters on the outside, and the edges of the pages were gold. Dad told me that not only could I write in it like I was apt to do as a voracious reader and writer for my age, but I could also use the cartoons on the outside to trace and draw into my own artwork. What kid gets excited over a book with blank pages to write in? I did. 

Didn't feel the Phantom yesterday

I saw a poor production of The Phantom of the Opera last night. I complained to my husband that it just didn’t give me “the feels” like I thought it should. The pace of the entire production was way too fast, the sound engineering was poor, there was no emotion, there were no dramatic pauses, there was no chemistry between the actors…no feels. The characters who were supposed to be in love didn't touch each other or stand close until they had to finally kiss. The sets were different, but not spectacular. I know that it wasn’t a dedicated “Phantom” theatre like how the Pantages was built, but it was still lackluster.

Then I felt bad for thinking so lowly of the production. These were professionals putting on a classic production – could I have done any better? Who was I to judge? Maybe after so many years – decades, in fact – since the last time I’d seen the show, maybe my tastes had matured and The Phantom was not something that was any good to begin with, but my immature theatre-sense at the time didn’t know any better. I’d seen it so long ago and unwarrantedly put it on this fantastically high pedestal that nothing would ever be able to come close to. That had to be it, right?

And yet, here I am at work (maybe I shouldn’t include that fact), listening to the original London cast soundtrack on YouTube with a shitty pair of headphones, and…the feels!

I mean, it’s not fair to compare last night’s singers to Michael Crawford or Sarah Brightman, okay fine. But just the emotion that you can hear in their performances is enough to confirm to me that this IS a production that can give me goosebumps. As I listen, I can totally envision the original production that I saw on stage so long ago with the rich colours and costumes and set design; the billowing mist of the underwater lake, the smoke of the hundreds of candles that rose magically from the stage, the elaborate, glittering, infamous chandelier.

And it’s not just the singers or the remembered visuals – the accompanying orchestra for this soundtrack version is just so expressive – it’s a character of the musical itself. There are pleading strings, ominous brasses, thundering percussion. I got the feels more from these recorded instruments than I did from the onstage actors last night.

I appreciate the efforts of a production company to put on a show – I really do – but they just happened to miss the mark with this one. They’re all talented individuals in their own rights, but this combination was just not a winning one. As my brother commented, “we should have watched the [2004] movie version before watching this show…that way anything by comparison to the movie would have been better.”

True story.

Office lingo

I've been back to work for a few weeks now and while I'm pretty much adjusted to it, I'm still a little rusty on my office lingo. For example, the following conversation happened:

Boss: YOA come to 6F oooppss
Me: ?????
Me: are you asking me to come to 6F
Boss: Yes.

If I'd been in full swing, I wouldn't have had to question it. Duh.

Not a loss

I have a contrived moment to myself and have a million and one other things that I need to be doing, so what better time to blog than now?

I was doing some research for a paper (please don't ask) and was uplifted by the fact that the CEO of a very successful, iconic company that I kinda like lists as his education "University of Toronto, BA, English Literature." There IS hope for people like us!
...

By the way, I'm a mom now - to the cutest baby on earth. More when I can...but not to worry, I have a full journal to borrow from! ♥

Gizoogle my noogle

Go to gizoogle.net.  You'll know you're in the right place when you see the spinning rims.

Yup, that's the place.  

I've known about this site since about a billion years ago.  Pablo showed it to me once and while I never forgot it...I put the knowledge of it safely away somewhere in my mind and never bothered retrieving it for amusement...until last Friday.

One of my co-workers speaks proper English with a British accent, but every so often she'll prove her "street-cred" (her words) by throwing down terms like "fo shizzle" and "skillz."  On Friday, she did just that and it subsequently reminded me of Gizoogle, which I promptly forwarded to her.

Cue hysterics.

This made its way through our team like wildfire, putting us in stitches as we read over each others' shoulders and laughed together at the results.  We did it to our work site, the news, and other familiar and unfortunate web addresses. We did our best to keep the giggles down, but they ended up catching the attention of our Assistant Vice President who came out to check on us.

   "What's going on out here?"
   "Um, we're gizoogling things...?"
   "Gizoogling? What does that mean?"
   "Well, we go to this site, type in web addresses, and then this happens..."
   *used our work site as an example*
   "Oh my god, that's amazing!"

Fo' shizzle.

This would amuse only me

All of the communications we create at work that are going to be shared with the general public have to go through a review process to make sure we're not saying anything we're not supposed to.  I just received a document back from the review and our legal reviewer went through and removed all the references to "partnerships."  It made me think of that over-bearing boyfriend (or girlfriend) who refuses to put a label on a relationship.

  "We're not dating, we're just seeing each other."

  "We're not partners, we're just in a strategic alliance."

I guess I get it, but yeesh.

Quotes of the moment

These are the ones that are amusing me right now:

   "She was up and gone in a flash; lithe like a ferret she was!"
        - JB, describing someone escaping an awkward seat on the TTC

   "This will allow me to expedite the meeting quicker."
        - Someone at work from the department of redundancy department

   "it's a cold day when celsius and fahrenheit meet." [sic]
        - mimster's FB status...because it's true

Did have a cow

In January of last year (2013) I attended a conference and one of the giveaways was a little plastic piggy bank. Except it wasn't actually a piggy bank, it was a cow bank.  Not really one to collect all my change, I repurposed the cow for something else.  I decided it was going to be my Cow of Awesome.

My what?

My Cow of Awesome.

I decided that every time something awesome happened, I'd jot it down on a piece of paper and keep it in the cow.  Then, at the end of the year (or, as it happened, at the beginning of this year), I'd open up the cow and see what awesomeness had taken place over the year.  Today was the opening day.

Awesomeness spilled out all over the table.  One by one, I reminisced over the year as Malcolm stayed close by to share in the memories.  There were a lot of wedding ones, but there were a lot of other randoms too.  Many memories were made with others, though Malcolm and I also got to share a number between the two of us.

I've since relocated the awesomeness to a nondescript envelope for the time being, until I can figure out the best way I can store them for the future trips down memory lane.  In the meantime, I needed the Cow back to start this year's stock of awesomeness. :)

What'cha doin'?

Hi.

We're alive.  :)

We made it through a lot and I HAVE been writing about it, but in the good old fashioned way with pen and paper (my pen actually died before we even left Malaysia).  Here's what we've made it through so far:

• we got married (amazing wedding, amazing party, many happy tears)
• we flew to Malaysia
• I averted a pickpocket attempt on Malcolm in the airport (by kicking someone, no less)
• we took the Canadian family around KL to see things and stuff them full of food
• we had another wedding tea ceremony (amazing family, more happy tears)
• we had another wedding reception (oh, the FOOD!)
• we flew to Bangkok
• I got over food poisoning from the airplane food on that first glorious night
• boys went fishing, girls went shopping (though I really had to concentrate to get my poisoned shit together for two days following)
• we ate FOOD
• honeymooned in Krabi - I didn't want to leave
• returned to Bangkok
• I avoided another pickpocket attempt (this time a motorbike purse-snatcher) by having my wits about me...though I wish I'd managed to kick another someone else in this instance
• we got massages
• I caught a cold that I booted after a glorious day of sleep mixed with cable TV
• we bought stuff
• we ate stuff
• we ate more stuff
• we're going to eat more stuff

Of course there are more details, but those will come later. I think I need to go sit by the pool for a bit. :)

WTF WFH

The first time one of my co-workers sent out the obligatory email to inform the rest of the team she was going to work from home, I had no idea what she meant.  The message was all in the subject line:

S: WFH - nobody mess with my desk!!!

I dissected the message as such:

S: = a backwards :S face indicating her possible confusion or frustration with something.

WFH = a possible typo of WTH (what the hell) or a possible, really bad typo of WTF (no explanation needed, I'm sure)

Nobody mess with my desk!!! = explanation of her inclusion of the S: and the WFH

I learned later that I was very wrong.

S: = short message, no text in body of email so don't bother reading any more

WFH = work(ing) from home

Nobody mess with my desk!!! = there'd been an incident with someone else's desk earlier...
...

So today I thought I'd WFH in an attempt to fly quietly below the work radar and catch up on a bunch of projects.  That was so very not the case. Instead, I ended up spending my entire day on catching up on things that were not even part of my work load.

I'm now counting down the minutes to time to log off.

BTW

I was just on the phone with the project manager of this massive project that I've been working on basically since I started here.  We had a quick chat about a few details for upcoming communications and some edits to some past ones we'd done.  We talked about our plan of attack for some web messaging and finished up with discussion about the invoicing of a side communication through a third party. We were just about to hang up when I heard her voice call me back.

   "Hey, melody?"
   "Yup, still here."
   "Oh good.  By the way, you're doing a great job."

That was nice.

A whale of words

Twitter's over capacity at the moment so I can't tweet.  It's not upsetting or anything, just inconvenient that it took so long for the twitter site to time out and tell me it was over capacity, leaving me to think there was something wrong with my internet connection in the meantime.

However, their "over capacity" page is kind of cute...

Out of date

I just clicked on all of my side links to other writers/artists.  The latest post from any one of them was June of last year.  One last posted in 2010. It made me sad.  Then I stumbled on this and was assaulted by a stream of colours and images and I was lifted.  Thanks, Tobias.

Song of the Moment: "Shake it out" - Florence and the Machine

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn
...

It's been a while and I feel it too.  I got a good chunk of writing out last night.  It just started and it kept pouring out until I was too tired to go on.  It felt good.  I missed it.  I confessed.  But I don't know when I'll get to share it.  But it was necessary. 

It was me.

Taxing on the nerves

Oooooh a rant!

In writing a piece at work, I had one proofreader correct me to say "A & B" in my document.  The next proofreader then asked me to change it to "B & A" in my document.  A third hadn't noticed either way.  After a quick google search, I found it was customary to go with "B & A," but asked the first proofreader if she knew explicitly which way was the correct according to company standards. 

She could not give me a yes or no answer.  She danced around the question through IMs and emails and phone calls.  In the meanwhile, I phoned the third proofreader and together we decided to go with what was generally accepted as customary.  But when the first reader found out what I'd taken the initiative to do, I got shit on it regardless of my sources or reasons.  She basically patted herself on the back for "doing the legwork" to decide that her way was right and that the rest of us were wrong.  All I wanted was for her to tell me to either cite her source, or give evidence either way and she took hours to do so and then sulked when my research contradicted hers, but in the end I was forced to concede because her role as the proofreader trumped mine as the writer.   

This sounds like nothing, but it totally grated on my nerves today.  Shredded them.  And now I'm ranting. 

Tax sucks.

Friday randoms

It's Friday.  It's lunchtime.  I'm ready for the weekend.
...

My work email spellcheck accepts "guesstimate" as a legitimate word.  Huh.
...

Is it bad that I read this article and found it (morbidly) amusing?  Yes, I know there's not much information, and yes, I know that it's sad that a man was killed in this accident, but the circumstances just take a turn for the ridiculous without that vital extra information.  From what I could glean from the article, my brain rewrote the events as this:

It was a dark night as a man walked down the lonely road at 3:30 am.  Suddenly, out of the darkness, a car appeared, driving too fast.  So fast, the man was struck in a instant.  While the car took off, the man stumbled, dazed and disoriented, now in the middle of the roadway.  Being as dark as it was and the hour that it was and at that particular intersection, a second, smaller car appeared too fast and struck the man again. 

The little car screeched to a stop.  Panicked, the driver dialled 911 and desperately called for help for the man on the road.  The driver jumped out after the call and ran to the man who was amazingly intact and trying to pick himself up a second time.

  "Holy shit, are you okay?!"
  "Yeah, I think so," came the disbelieving reply as the man swayed unsteadily to his feet.
  "Dude, take it easy, I just called the cops - they should be here any second."
  "Thanks - I think I might be okay."

Sirens could be heard approaching the scene.  The driver called after the man, trying to convince him to stay, but he had already begun to swagger off into the night.  A moment later, a police cruiser swung into view going too fast and struck the poor man a third time.

  "Aw fuck."

I know, I know, it's not funny...but it kinda is...
...

Dear Winning Lottery Ticket,

I know we haven't met and we've never actually spoken in person before, but I was kind of hoping we could change that this weekend.  Whadda ya say?

melody

What's in a name?

It's all the in the way you read things. 
...

At work, I'm a writer (surprise, surprise, huh?), but being a major corporate company, all of our publications need to be bi-lingual.  So, whenever I write things, I need to have them translated before I can have them published. 

This week, as much as I was slaving away with a million communications with a million modifications and a million edits and a crazy tight deadline, one single poor translator was assigned to handle my documents and requests. Usually you send your document to translation with 4 days for turnaround time.  I gave 2 days…on 6 documents. 

However, my translator was AMAZING and managed to get all of it translated and returned to me by the deadline, and even made accommodations and extra edits for all of my team’s changes.  So I decided to send a VIP notice.  A VIP notice is just a little certificate of recognition at work that the employee receives with your nice message included, and it’s also sent to their manager so that they know what good work’s being recognized.  My nice little message was as follows:

Dominique has translated an astounding number of documents over the past week - many of them rush submissions!  She has managed to come through on all of the time lines that she has promised, even accommodating all of the last minute additions and modifications that have come along on multiple projects.  Despite the complexity of each project, the technical terms, and the difficult subject matter, she's done a wonderful job and I want her to know that I really and truly appreciate all that she's done over the last few days.

Thank you, Dominique!

A little while later I got an email back from Dominique:

melody,

Thank you very much for your VIP certificate and your nice comments. I am touched!

Best regards.

Dominique

PS: I will phone my mom tonight to let her know about my VIP. I will also tell her that she should have spelled my first name with a "c", because many people think I'm a woman. (ah, ah, ah...) :-))

*hangs head in shame*

I felt like a class A idiot.  I told Dominique as such and he was nothing less than supremely gracious about it.  Probably gets it all the time from us Anglo-speakers. 
...

The keeper of coffee country

After walking for what felt like miles, I finally found a dilapidated little coffee shop at a neglected intersection on the edge of downtown where I could sit and wait for Malcolm to finish a training session.  When I entered, I felt at least three of a possible five pairs of eyes on me, sizing up the intruder attempting to enter their territory.  And what strange citizens they all seemed.

All patrons were of retirement age or older, and were mostly men.  There were two mustaches, one 10-gallon hat, an abundance of pockmarks and various scars, and a mysterious black suitcase on the floor.  As far as my first glace told me, no one was atually drinking any coffee, which was probaly just as well - the proprietor seemed already overwhelmed with the line-up of two.

The shopkeep himself was a character.  Owner of half the pockmarks in the place, his face was round and jolly and of an undetermined origin.  His accent was undeniably thick, but even when he paused to answer the cell phone screaming at his belt, the language he used lent no clues.

He had to ask me three times about my order of a medium coffee.
   "With cream and sugar, please."
   "Just sugar?"
   "Cream and sugar, please."
   "How many cream?  How many sugar?"
   "One of each, please."
   "Small?"
   "Medium, please."

Still flustered by the line-up of me and the mustached man that had come before me, theshopkeep spent a confused moment ringing in my order, wondering why there was a pile of change already on the counter.  I knew it had been the man's before me because we all three had watched him leave it there as payment.  The shopkeep's eyes widened in enlightenment when he remembered too, a moment later.

Nevertheless, I found the panic endearing.  And after me, and having dispersed the crowd, he returned to his element of keeping that shop and keeping it well.  One customer at a time, he remembered regulars and served the strangers.  He had well-wishes for the man who was freshly released from a hospital stay; he had congratulations for the man who earned an extension on his work as a labourer; he made suggestions for a girl who had to feed her picky sister. 

When he disappeared into the back to re-stock, the citizens stood sentry for him.
   "Eh!  Captain Kirk!  When a customer comes, call me!"
   "Ya!"
   *pause*
   "Any customers yet?"
   "Nope!" came the chorused reply from the Captain and his crew.

Locals who bordered on homelessness came to warm themselves with a small cup of coffee and to whet their whistles on free cups of water that the shopkeep poured with the additional warmth of generosity.  They discussed the latest deals on thrift items - where to find the best clothes or the latest shoes - sympathized on having to settle on bad weekly lodgings, and apologizing for not being around due to late rent cheques. 

This tiny microcosm continued to buzz until the 8 o'clock hour rolled around and I gathered my things to go.  One last look around the place and then I stepped outside into the brisk autumn air.  And then, like a mere hour ago, the coffee shop slid back into a non-existence without outsider eyes to believe it.

Nerbs

At work last Friday and again this Friday, we got to discussing great nouns that have evolved (some officially, some unofficially) into verbs.  There were some good ones.  I've noticed that all of the ones off the top of my head evolved not just from nouns, but from proper nouns. Perhaps that indicates that if you do something and you do something well, "maybe they'll create a nerb after you."  I think that beats a building. 

The best:

to google: to perform a search [using a search engine] for something on the internet
e.g.  I'll have to go home and google what a nerb is later when I get to my computer.

to tetris: to manipulate objects in a tight space, ensuring maximum efficiency of space usage
e.g.  Man, we tetrised that stuff into the trunk really well - I can't believe it all fit!

to macgyver: to create an extremely useful object under pressure, using only the materials on hand at any given moment
e.g.  I couldn't find a spoon, so I macgyvered one out of this cup and fork.

to frankenstein: to create one whole object out of the best parts of other different, yet similar objects
e.g. I finished writing the communication faster by frankensteining it out of previous memos.

to multimedia: to bombard another person [their inbox, or your chat window] with link after link of videos, songs, or other mediums of entertainment.
e.g.  Heartbreak? Don't worry, I'll multimedia you back to life.
...

Update - September 28, 2012, 2:55pm
My supervisor was giving me advice on how the final draught of my document was probably going to look like after submitting it for review.

     "They'll probably look at the different versions, frankenstein some from each, and then tetris it all together."

Love it.  She's probably secretly been reading my blog.  :)

Sparing myself some change

I was feeling in a bit of a funk today so to distract myself, I thought I'd take the time to finally type out my travel posts that I meticulously recorded by hand while across the globe, but then one thing led to another and suddenly, I had a new blog layout.  Welcome to my distraction.

What better way to deal with uncontrollable change than with some controllable change?  I've saved a copy of the old layout, but for now, it's in with the new.

We had good times, didn't we?