And probably more to come

My last post included "The (SECOND) Poo Story."  Here's the first poo story, in case you were interested.  It also includes an ehbaba poo story in the comments, much to my tired delight tonight.  :)

An Excel-erated suggestion

Ehbaba is the person I know who loves MS Excel like no other.  She's a total pro, can make amazing things happen with Excel, AND she gets excited when things work, when she gets to run reports to produce charts or graphs, when she gets to use an obscure function, or even when I learn how to use a new one.  Being such a professional, I had sought some advice from her with regards to resumes in an attempt to get mine up to par on paper and online.   With that in the back of your mind...
__________

From:  ehbaba
To:  melody
Subject:  re: Resume Advice?

[...]  I like seeing led/managed/developed more than arranged/kept/verified.  I like the summary bit at the top of your resume.  It helped me decide on whether or not to read the rest of it.  I think I'll take that idea off you. :)

__________

From:  ehbaba
To: melody
Subject:  random suggestion

Since you're going for creative jobs and your resume is online, why not make it "fun" visually?  Use charts, pictures, whatever!

__________

From:  melody
To:  ehbaba
Subject: re: random suggestion


You are the ONLY PERSON in the WORLD who would suggest putting charts on my resume to make it look "fun."

LoL

__________

From:  ehbaba
To:  mel
Subject:  RE: re:  random suggestion

and when i say charts, i mean the most fun kind - pictographs!

_________

Of course she would.

A second wave of bombing

Wheeling pregnant rumours

A week ago, Roomie BBMed me.

Roomie - Hey, how are you?
Me - not bad, what's up?
Roomie - Nothing much...anything new with you?
Me - Nah, same old.
Roomie - Are you sure?
Me - Yeah...
Roomie - Are you SURE there's nothing else new?
Me - Nothing really. Though Malcolm and I are starting to look for a house.
Roomie - A house with a nursery in it?!
Me - What?!

Apparently someone at the office I used to work with was spreading the rumour that I was pregnant. I thought it was the most hilarious thing I'd heard in a long time. And as ridiculous as it was, and even though there was not an ounce of truth to it, Roomie and I let it make our day.

Roomie - Aw, I'm a little sad that it's not true, but that totally made my morning!
Me - Me too!

Roomie and I kept in touch the rest of the day as she tried to dig up the origins of the rumour and I spread it around a little further.

me - HONEY!
me - Someone's spreading BABY rumours about us! hahahahaha
Malcolm - what?
Malcolm - who?
me - I don't know....Roomie just BBMed me and asked me ..."...what's new??? and when I told her "not much" she said "Are you SURE?!"
me - LoL!
me - she says she was "snooping through yours and Malcolm's Facebook for clues." LOL

It turned out later that Roomie traced the rumour back to the receptionist at the office who, after trying to point the roots to be from one of the other girls in the office, conceded to saying "I guess I just dreamed it or something."

Lame.

But the rampant imaginations of Malcolm and ehbaba (because news of the rumour reached her on the other side of the globe by the time I got home) were definitely NOT lame.

----------
From: ehbaba
To: melody
Subject: rumour

so awesome that someone would bother to make shit up and spread it around

more awesome that your old boss called HS to find out

malcolm and i figured you should tell people you are having siamese/conjoined triplets...that are joined head to toe
malcolm thought the would have to slither to walk
i think doing the worm may be a more effective method to get around

congratulations on your triplet worm

----------
From: melody
To: ehbaba
Subject: Re: rumour

wtf.

Seriously. I have NO idea who would even come up with the notion that I'm pregnant. I know I've gained weight since working there, but no way close to enough to consider a baby-bump. Definitely spare-tire-ish, but not baby-bump-ish.

Apparently it started with Miss Universe, who, after thinking about it longer gave the explanation: "Oh, I guess I dreamt it or something."

But yeah, it totally made my day. I was so exited to tell you about it--but I see news travels fast overseas too!

Thanks for the well-wishes. We were actually going to teach our triplet worm to hold on from end to end and roll like a tire to get around most efficiently. However, realizing that this might take a while to get a hang of, doing the worm might work for the first few years--as long as we don't ask T to teach them how.

----------

From: ehbaba
To: melody
Subject: Re: Re: rumour

O M G

Triplet wheel >>>> Triplet worm!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
can't believe i don't have that video anymore!

----------

The amusement didn't last much more than that first day. By the next day, Friday, everything went pretty much back to normal, and the receptionist has yet to have another wild dream of sorts to share. However, Malcolm and I did share a little about it since the rumour brought it up.

me - That'd have been awesome though, wouldn't it?
Malcolm - yeah, that would be awesome :D

Worming through it

There's a story that I want to tell you about, but first I have to tell you another story. It's not that this one plays a big part of anything, but I think it deserves a mention because it continues to resurface time and time again in our volleyball memories.

And it's unfortunately one of those stories that you had to be there for.

Years ago, our volleyball team had a coach. He spent one practice trying to get us to refine our diving techniques. Describing it, he wanted us to learn to dive gracefully--chest on the ground first, then stomach and legs to follow. It was basically like doing the worm.


It was understandably a little awkward, but after just a short while on the mats, most of the girls got it. Except for T.

Her many attempts were in earnest, but she never got the grace of it. Not once. Over and over again, she jumped up, and flopped straight down. Jumped up, and flopped straight down. Many of the other girls were in tears, and ehbaba did her best to stay steady enough to capture a video of it on her phone. Unfortunately, the video has since been lost, so I tried to find an accurate representation of the event with google. This is the closest I got.


It was epic. Over and over again she flopped onto that mat. Enough so that none of the girls have ever forgotten it. Enough so that all of the girls that knew there was a video, rue the loss of that video. So now you know, and now I can continue with stories about me. :)

Nothing but class

Canada vs. US Men's hockey. Crazybf, Dimps and I watched from Casey's at Union. As the mood moved us, Dimps and I managed 2 bottles of wine, Dimps taking the brunt of them. While the game was entertaining enough (in a heartbreaking sort of way), Dimps was even more so. Crazybf was smart (and sober) enough to have thought to catch a few of the special moments of hers on video. But as for the rest of the night, man, I wish I could have just collected up all of the gems she said to share them with the world.

Psst! Your boyfriend eats wings like a pansy!

Psst! You eat wings like a pansy!

Lu-on-go! Lu-on-go!

BOO! BOO! BOO!

Cypress only wishes it could be half as cool as me!

I am one big ball of class. I am nothing BUT classy! *belch*

This shirt makes boys look at my boobs.

I am not BELLIGERENT!
...

As a sidenote: I apologize to ehbaba for negating her efforts to record the game AND her efforts to avoid learning the score before watching in one fell swoop of an email. :/ I'm even more sorry that I seem to be making a habit of doing this to her...

Almost like you're actually there...

It's amazing how technology these days can help you feel close to those you care about, even if you're all the way on the other side of the globe. It's also amazing how technology these days is not always easy enough for everyone to use well...


    "I don't know how to use Photoshop. This is the best I could do with Paint."



Ehbaba, we miss you too...

Picking up pieces

"After the Rain" - Blue Rodeo
...

the most important thing I've learned is that being right means shit. All it does is place your own pride over the feelings of the other person.
    ~ehbaba

...

I've heard that Canadians have been accused of being too apologetic; apologizing for things they're not necessarily at fault for. Sure it wasn't your intention to bump shoulders when squeezing by someone else in a narrow hallway, but it just seems natural to apologize, doesn't it? It does to me.

So sometimes, heated moment or not, I apologize. Perhaps it's not because I think I've done something wrong, but it's genuinely because causing someone any sort of discomfort is not what I would have wanted to do in any case. Sometimes it's that tiny "I'm sorry" that diffuses something what was on the verge of exploding. It doesn't cost very much, but it's utterance can be priceless in the right moments.

But then again, I'm Canadian--what do I know?
...

I can do anything I put my mind to. However, I don't claim to be perfect. The only time I've been kept from realizing my dreams, is when something prevents me from trying my best. When I'm allowed in and allowed to spread my wings, I can soar.

Then there are the times when I choose to stop trying. That happens when I've tried enough, and I need someone else to take a turn. I haven't given up, I'm just waiting for a hand.
...

My next post will be my 888th post. I hope it's a good one.
...

I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
    --Pink
...

I get a little antsy when I sit in the quiet for too long. I find the need to seek out some sort of white noise to take the edge off the silence. Be it music, a TV talking in the background, or the murmur of other people going about their daily lives, it's that sort of filler that both distracts me and helps me focus at the same time.

The distraction is from my constant stream of thoughts and strings of imagined stories and conspiracies and plotlines. The focus comes from having to now tune out all of the extra sound to hone in on whatever the task at hand was in the first place. There are so many songs on my iPod that I've probably heard but never listened to because of this.

The above would also give explanation to why some nights I fall asleep to music, and let it play all through the night.
...

I watched Twilight finally tonight. Oh to be back in high school to not be with boys this time around, but instead wait and save it for the sake of simplicity. As if.
...

Okay. That's enough. I was thinking about writing italicized fictions about life and love and loathing, but was too self-conscious to do so, worrying that people might see too much of themselves in them and fret over where the lines of fiction end, and fact begins. There's that saying where "beauty is in the eye of the beholder;" I wish there were some saying to that effect about seeing yourself as the character in a story.

All about the accessories

    "Man, I'd put on my biggest hoop earrings just so I could walk in there, challenge a fight, and then take those earrings off!"
    --my Latina chica sista, rearing for some action

    "Oh yeah! I wanted to check into some of the jewellery stores to look at necklaces and maybe bracelets. I was also thinking about something for my hair...oh, you were talking about the bridesmaids? Oh, I thought you were talking about me. For your accessories, I don't care; you can wear whatever."
    --Ehbaba, talking about wedding accessories; just not the bridesmaids'
...

hahaha

Splattered

SO. MUCH. FUN.

Happy Bachelorette, Ehbaba! What a great way to celebrate--choosing to be shot out of singledom by a bunch of friends, wearing the FIND of a wedding gown for the event! :)

Quote of the Moment:

    "I think I'm just going to tell the extravagant story about when my boyfriend sent me flowers with a card telling my to pack a bag and my passport and then stole me away for a weekend. I mean, it didn't happen THIS weekend, but it HAPPENED, so I'm not technically lying...I'm re-using."
    "And that's definitely okay because it's saving the environment."
...

Hey, we all gotta do our part.

And speaking of doing our part, read ehbaba's latest post, and then stop shopping at FeetFirst. While they may put feet first, they definitely don't put customers first.

I played two different sports this weekend and now my body is furiously angry with me. I guess it's a good thing that yoga this morning was cancelled. Otherwise my body would be...what's the next step-up from "furiously"? Regardless, it was an awesome weekend. It was beautiful out and I love knowing that I took advantage of that fact. I was out doing my best (and that doesn't mean doing well) to field balls and to remember how to play baseball. I seriously hadn't played in almost 10 years, and it felt good to get back at it. I still don't think I throw like a girl, but having not played in so long, I think I'm okay with admitting that I hit like one...for now.

Sprung

Spring is so here it's practically summer already. The weather's beautiful the company's great, and I'm in love...

...ehbaba rocks my comment world.

A lazy morning, a drive, a stroll, and a dinner. Not too much, but more than enough.

The waiting game

I'm at the factory, a headache brewing because I think I'm hearing the remaining workers gossip about my favourite employee behind her back. I can't be sure, but either way, they're all getting on my nerves; figures that grandmama's one of those talkers. Though the deliveries and the paperwork's been done for the day, I'm still sitting out the rest of the workers, despite the enormous yen to escape.

I'm playing the waiting game with Slimy.

He took a hiatus a little while ago, but he's back now in full force. I think on his second or third day back, he slipped out of the factory with an arm-load of his own tailoring to deliver, leaving his workload here to just pile up in his absence. He told my aunt on her way out that he was planning to leave by 8pm, but having taken the time out to stand around to gossip, his ETD probably won't be until much later--though that's what he was probably banking on anyway.

Of course mom's making my FAVOURITE food for dinner tonight as well.

So I'm stretching my own work load out longer to accommodate his schedule, at least until my aunt makes her unannounced return to the factory. Though, knowing her ways, she won't make it here until 9pm herself--if she makes it back here at all.

My only consolation to it all is that while I play this waiting game with the factory employees, I'm also playing the waiting game with the remainder of my time here at the sweatshop.

That's right, I gave it up. As Ehbaba helped me put into words a few intelligent conversations ago, I just don't "fit" this job.

"It's not because you're not bright or adaptable enough, you're just not the right fit for that particular position, and that position is just not the right fit for you."

I felt so much better after that conversation.

And so, Friday ever-so-slowly approaches. I couldn't care less (not true) about what comes after that, but as soon as I officially finish working here, I know a huge wait weight is going to come crashing off my shoulders. Friday, here I come!