Jumping on it

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

If you must know, I'm cheering for the underdog, whoever it may be each game. I could only ever be the goalie in this sport. Using my feet to handle a ball is such a foreign concept to me.

Another chicken joke

Last time I was logged in to blog, I worked for a long time on a post about a funny incident that happened at work. I took the time to write in all the details about what happened, how it felt, what other people's reactions were. It took me a while. It took me so long, I didn't feel like I was finished. That meant I'd taken too long. Good stories are short and sweet and don't take that much effort or time, even if they ARE long. And so...

• lunchtime at work
• Shaggy and YourFace fooling around
• I laughed
• I snorted chicken up my nose
• immense discomfort
• trouble dislodging whole bite-sized piece of chicken led to panic, panic led to more immense discomfort
• overwhelming emotional and physical distress led to desperate dislodging of the bite-sized piece of chicken
• my throat, ears, and nose were sore for the rest of the day into the following

F'in chicken.

Acting safely

Charged with being the Health and Safety representative at work, I spent the other day becoming familiar with the Occupational Health and Safety Act. Every once in a while, I shared a passage or two aloud with my co-workers. At one point, YourFace and Shaggy Jesus were both in the office when I came across the passage:

No worker shall, [...] engage in any prank, contest, feat of strength, unnecessary running or rough and boisterous conduct.

Both YourFace and Shaggy Jesus laughed at the seeming simple ridiculousness of it. After our giggles subsided, Shaggy Jesus called our attention to him. Before our eyes, he danced on the spot, bouncing and flailing his arms in the air at random. Then he broke into a sprint right at me. A few steps away from my desk, he stopped, dropped, and started doing manic push-ups. Apparently satisfied with his efforts, Shaggy stood up with a great grin on his face.

    "Boisterous conduct, unnecessary running, and feat of strength; what other rules can I break?"
...

It's going to be a lot of fun working here...

Why I hate to be without my phone

I received a BBM picture and message the other day from my office mate, YourFace:


This is a picture of me rubbing your phone on my crotch. Then I farted on it.

Great.

I got the message at about noon. YourFace watched me receive it and watched me cringe at the realization of what my phone went through. He burst out laughing.

    "I've been waiting all morning to send that to you!"
    "Ugh. Why didn't you just send it right away?"
    "Haha. I needed you to use your phone some more."

I am definitely moving on up in the business world.

Come here often?

It makes me a little sad to think that it's been a month since I last posted. But so much has happened!





Uh, tell you about it later...

I heart Gmail

I was composing a long email between phone calls and stuff, so it's safe to say that I was a bit distracted. When I went to hit "send," Gmail paused to ask me,

    "I noticed you wrote 'I've attached' in your email...did you mean to attach something?"

I HAD forgotten to attach something!

Awesome. I also love it when you close Chrome unexpectedly, and it pops up a filefolder face that's got Xs for eyes with its tongue hanging out, and it says "Aw, snap!" and tells you something went wrong. Google is my kinda thing.

No, not my tongue

No, he didn't get my tongue. Trust me, I had my fair share of words for the cat yesterday morning. He didn't follow in line with the adage--he went ahead and the cat got my diamond ring instead.

Dang cat.

Trying not to wake my Crazy, I searched through my jewelery tray of MUCH cheaper pieces that he could have DESTROYED for all I cared, but no diamond ring. A search of the surrounding area, even with the light on, revealed nothing either. The only things that coerced me to leave were the fact that it was my second first-day of work and Crazy told me he'd take a look for it for me when he got up.

*sigh*

I felt naked on one hand all day (ring-wearers, I know you know what I mean). It wasn't until I'd told EVERYONE what the cat had done and after I'd visited my cat-enthusiast doctor that I started to feel a little better.

While going through the motions of my check-up, I told her about what Moo had done and asked her for her professional opinion on my chances of finding it again.

    "Oh, well he certainly hasn't eaten it. He's just a cat and cats like loud, shiny things to bat around on the floor for the sparkle and the sound it makes. I'm sure you're going to find it behind one piece of furniture or another."

Lucky for the cat, I did.

I am now in the market for a cat-proof jewelery box. Perhaps from Mexico. 9 more days...